My Story.
Where do I begin, throughout my childhood I’ve lived to be someone’s property of satisfaction, unable to experience an ordinary childhood. from the age of 5 was when I started being portrayed as a simple object, being touched in areas that a child would never understand but wonder confusedly. That was the moment I lost trust in my family, knowing my own blood uncle would even consider doing so to me. A young child who didn’t know any better, keeping silence from the world. As I finally escaped that moment believing I was safe, 2 years later at the age of 7 to 8 I was pushed into going to a babysitter with my 2 younger siblings. When it was nap time for everyone I would be taken into the bathroom by a teenage boy who would force it down my throat, stripping me of everything I wore, satisfying himself, telling me to keep my silence. Years have passed, I feel at ease. It is now August 2013. I am now 13 trying to get through high school, standing proud and strong, believing I can overcome everything and anything.
I spoke too soon. Spending my sleepless nights paralyzed and afraid to scream. It’s now 1am as I watch the door open slowly, watching my stepfather strip me slowly and delicately, trying not to wake me up, not realizing I never did fall asleep. Pushing himself into me. As I bled and laid there in shock, he re-dressed me and left. I ended up speaking to child protection services, as they tried to help me through this, I felt so alone. 3 weeks have passed as I’m going in and of court, hospitals as well as therapy sessions. I ended up being 13 and pregnant, sitting in a hospital room with my tears rolling down my mothers eyes, I sat there feeling numb. I was forced to get an abortion due to my young age. 5 years later I now sit here reminiscing my past, realizing that I was born for this. This experience has caused me to believe that, what they’re doing is normal now. I’ve found it difficult to know my right and wrongs. The guilt I feel for not fighting hard enough to keep the little being inside me, knowing he/she would’ve been turning 4 by now, giving me a reason to stay in this fucked up society we live in. Fulfilling the hole in my heart.
I am now lost, and stuck with these memories. Fighting my will to live.
— Anny, age 18
Dear Anny – thank you so much for sharing your story here. I want to scream as loud as I can that not only is what you’ve been through not your fault, but you were NOT born for this. You were born to live and I believe that you can heal and do that. It will take a lot of work – and probably the help of a therapist – but I know you can do it and share your light with the world. Their behavior is not normal and not ok and you did not deserve any of it.
As far as the abortion, that guilt is completely understandable but looking back and thinking what would be is so hard. You don’t know what would have happened with that pregnancy or that child. And the truth is that YOU are a reason to stay here. You might not see it but I do. The world needs your voice and your heart. You can do this. I believe in you. Love, Alexis
Your not alone & You weren’t born for this but this society is fucked up. You have charisma ,great word play . Your warm and inviting. You survived and your here . So am I . Just have the will to live love ..
No one is born for this…
No one.
You were born for greater things, keep your head up.
No one is born to be done that!