Two years ago when I moved to LA, I never thought that my life would change forever in one second. One night i got home to find my roommate with a couple of friends drinking and partying. Just wanting to finally connect with my roommate I drank, I honestly don’t remember much about that night. I do remember this random guy coming into my bedroom and sexually assaulting me up until the next morning when i got up to leave and was pushed down multiple times. When I went to the police I felt like they never believed me, and up until this day my rape kit and case sit on a never-ending shelf on never getting any answers. My assault was a stranger assault. Thankfully I had the support of family and close friends, but i still never wanted to get out of bed or would get panic attacks for no reason whatsoever. To this day I still get horrible nightmares that lead to panic attacks. I would bury my feelings and the whole incident because I just wanted to forget until one day I decided I needed help to deal with the trauma. I will never fully be who I was back before my assault but, I continue to strive to be happy with who I am, as well as knowing it wasn’t my fault. If you’re reading this I want you to know I believe you. You are going to be alright and no matter what you are amazing & deserve to be happy.
— Brittany, age 20
Survivor Brittany- What happened to you was a very terrible crime but I hope you will be ok with me saying that you are SOOO BRAVE and strong! You are helping others realize and know that it’s NOT your FAULT! It very much sounds as if you were drugged meaning a predator put something in your drink, this is a crime that has become all too common. Please I hope you will continue to talk to someone, a counselor etc about what happened to you. You should absolutely be happy with who you are because you are good and strong and love your fellow human so much, you are a hero and a role model – please keep this up. I will quote YOU – You are amazing and deserve to be happy!!! 20 years is young but your advice is VERY wise!
Dear Brittany – thank you so much for sharing your story here. What happened to you WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! It doesn’t matter that you were drinking or anything like that no matter what the police or anyone says. I BELIEVE YOU. I would really encourage you to talk to a therapist about what happened; even though your friends and family support you, it can be so helpful to have someone who’s trained to help you work through what you’re feeling. They can also help you with some techniques for coping with the nightmares and panic attacks. I’m not sure that you will ever be who you used to be but I do think that you can be whole and happy and I know that you already ARE beautiful, strong, and brave. Love, Alexis