It happened the afternoon before my Wedding.
I met a client at a Bar and Grill.
Afterward, my car battery was Dead.
I ran into an Ex-Boyfriend, who offered me a Ride home.
He said he wanted to give me something for my Wedding.
We pulled in around the back of my Apartment.
He made some crude Suggestions, which I Refused.
He reclined my seat, and got to Molest me.
I repeated, “No, No, No!” and fought him.
He climbed in my seat, and Pulled at my Clothes.
I Screamed.
He Hit me.
I was Losing, so I Pleaded that he Not Rape me.
He said, “No.”
I asked him to at least use a Condom.
He said, “No.”
I Screamed as he Raped me.
I Pleaded for him to Pull Out.
He said, “No.”
He Inseminated me.
Someone took some Incriminating looking Pictures.
His attack continued.
He took some Pics of my Naked body.
He let me go Home.
The Incriminating pictures were sent to His Girlfriend.
His Girlfriend forwarded them to My Fiancé.
My Ex sent his pics to My Fiancé and other Friends, and my Job.
I went to get my Ripped Clothes off, and Shower.
My Wedding was Called off before I could finish.
It took a Month to Convince him it was Rape not Cheating.
We Rescheduled with the Justice in a Month.
My Boss made some Crude Jokes about the pics.
My Boss gave me Extra Days off for a Honeymoon.
Just 2 weeks before the Wedding, I found out.
I was Pregnant.
I had No Wedding.
I had a lot of Unwanted Propositions.
I had Chronic Depression.
I had my Life Destroyed.
I Hope Sharing will Help.
– Sheri, age 29
please call police. you are going through the roughest period of your life. please contact police. your life is not destroyed. your life is yours. i hope someone somewhere is waiting for you. please contact police and bring this ex-guy in judicial system he will pay for what he has done. he thinks he will survive but no, he and his gf has to pay for what has done.
Thank you to BMW for posting my story. It felt Especially good to see it here!
Thank you Chandan for caring about me. For a long time I did not feel such.
Due to seeing this, I made arrangements to see my Daughter, for the first time in a while.
She is beautiful. We almost didn’t make it, as I couldn’t take drugs for the during the Pregnancy, and had some bad moments. She would move, and remind me that this wasn’t her fault. I had the drugs almost as soon as we separated(first few days of breastfeeding is extra nutritious), but was not ready to be her Mom. I gave her to a family better able to care for her than I, and that was a good decision.
I don’t know if his GF took pictures of us or got sent them by someone else to get my My Ex/her BF, though they belong together as they both wanted to enrage my Fiancé. Having him would be retaliation enough.
After therapy, I spoke to the police. There was little usable evidence. I had a baby, which just proved the sex, and I have the pictures which proved the sex. No one saw anything beyond those pictures. Had I kept the baby, I could have sued for child support, but my mind was not in a place for that, and it would continue him in my life. Reading my poem, and you see my mind, after that I only wanted a shower and to rid myself of destroyed clothing. It was then that I found my destroyed life. I did not want him when we Dated, I did not want him after the Rape. No, he will not pay for this in this Life, but I have Faith he will in the Next.
He had his 20 minutes of pleasure and his orgasms, but the real villain did not. Neither man had sex with me before that afternoon, but my Ex promised me nothing, and just took what pleased him and left. My Fiancé left me with this to deal with. “For Better or Worse.”, was a falsehood. Nothing he did warranted jail time, and every definition says that to rape me, he had to do it physically. They are quite wrong, as I would take the Rape daily, over the Abandonment I have felt daily since. My Therapy is a Long Road to the Horizon.
Even a building that is destroyed can be rebuilt, piece by piece, and to a better design, for better people.
#2
Dear Sheri – thank you so much for sharing your story here. I hope it was cathartic for you. What happened to you is not your fault and being raped is not cheating (I think you know this – but it can never hurt to hear it again). It looks like from your comment that you are in therapy and that is so important. Giving your baby up for adoption must have taken so much strength and come with so many complicated feelings. What you wrote about the police – it’s so heartbreaking and all too common. YOU did not destroy your life – no one should judge you for going and taking a shower. You did the best you could with what you knew at that minute. I love your thought about a building being rebuilt – what a beautiful thing to think and to use as you heal. Sending you lots of love and support!!! Alexis
Thank you Alexis, it is good to know how many are there in the rough times.
I am working through Chronic Depression, and have a Therapist and Group. I have had some bouts with Suicidal thoughts, but never made an actual attempt. I have been spotted in Trigger Flashback. I started on Strong Medication, but since have steady reduction.
I have seen reports that say not to change or shower after a rape, and get the police immediately to preserve evidence. All in my mind was to clean myself, and I got the message calling off our Wedding, and I just collapsed against the couch, not even crying.
I was forwarded the pictures everyone was seeing, and you might understand the Police not wanting to form a poor case around them. None of them showed a weapon or even him pinning my hands. One where he was fondling my breast looked like I was smiling, while a couple looked like I was in orgasm, and though several showed intimately what he accomplished, none that were sent showed lack of consent (any more might have been deleted). No one could be found, including the Photographer, who saw the assault, or heard my screams. In response to mail, and in interview, My Ex claimed it was consentual, I had called to meet him at the bar, a Final Fling with an Old Lover the night before the Wedding. He proposed I could have contacted Any Number of Ex-Lovers that night alone, and except for an offer of sex, I was as nasty as ever to him. Everything made me look like a Slut and not a Victim. I can see if the Police had Experience that the DA might not even pursue it.
I see my Former Fiancé around town, and he has a blonde bimbette Girlfriend. Upon seeing me over 7 months pregnant shopping at the market, she giggled and he whispered something that cracked her up enough to stagger into the next aisles. I was upset at being the butt of the Joke, and my thoughts involved walking into traffic, but my daughter Noticed my emotional state, and turned to remind me I had brought such Joy to another, and I didn’t have to date either of them. It was several months until my Therapy could include drugs, but they have a Crisis line. Taking my baby out of the Cycles of Heartbreak was the Greatest Gift I could give after Life.
I need to end now, but keep Sharing your Love, Alexis