I was raped 5 years ago by somebody whom I met on a dating website. The website said not to meet anybody on your own but in a public place. I did that, met him 3 times at our local mall, in the coffee shop.
I had lost my husband 5 years previously, he had had a stroke and died the next day. I was left unemployed, bankrupt and with 4 children. The 2 eldest boys were out of school and working, but the two girls were still at home with me.
I was at the point where I decided to start dating again. So a friend said to try the dating website. I did and met this guy 3 times on separate occasions at the mall. On the 4th date he asked to pick me up at the house and take me to a pub for a drink. I don’t drink and made it very clear to him. He accepted that and bought me a cool drink. So I was sober but he seemed to be getting very drunk and I was concerned about him driving me home.
I also have a daughter with epilepsy which gets triggered by stress and was very concerned about her and did not want to be out late. So I invited him home, thinking I am safe because my 2 daughters are at home, so that I could offer him coffee to sober him up before he drove back home.
He came inside my small 2 bedroom cottage and the girls greeted him but were impatient with him because he was drunk. They closed their door to their bedroom and he insisted we go lay on my bed. This man was very tall and he towered over me and I was helpless as to what to do. I could not get him out the flat and eventually he took me to the bedroom and tore my pants off my body and had sex with me. He was grunting and moaning and I had no option but to be still and let him do his thing. I could not scream as it would wake up my daughter and then she would have a seizure. When he was finished, he got up, went to the toilet and left.
I went to check if he had really left and when I got back my eldest daughter came into my room and accused me of being a prostitute because I slept with this guy. At the time I had no words for her. I could not tell her what happened as I did not know myself. I could not believe this guy had raped me in my own house in front of my daughters!!!
The next day I explained to my daughters what had happened and still to this day, I don’t think they believe me.
He phoned me the next day and asked to see me and I said no and that I was considering going to the police. He claims he did nothing wrong and I asked him if he would like me to come to his house and do sexual things to him in front of his precious son. He had no answer for me!!!
The positive out of that experience was to teach my daughters how easy it is to get yourself in a situation you can’t get yourself out.
I have forgiven him as I know his life must be hell by now, because if he has not come to me personally and asked me to forgive him, even though I have forgiven him, then he will have no peace in his life.
My God is a loving father and I know I did not endure 10years of hell trying to cope with my husbands death, bankruptcy, a child stricken with epilepcy, my boys refusing to talk to me due to lack of discipline, a second marriage resulting in fraud and me loosing what little money I had.
My motto has been, always look how far you have come, look back and see what you endured, then you know that what lies ahead can’t be more than you can handle!!