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In My Home

It’s the summer 2015, I just moved to Copenhagen, from a small near by city.
I love Copenhagen, and I know the city. but living here, getting a social life is hard.
one day I said yes to go to the beach, he´s here to. right in front of me. we talk together, and quickly decide to meet again.

A few days later I’m waiting for him at the metro station, the weather is cold, windy and different, we go to the beach, decide to swim for an hour or to.
It’s getting late I’m freezing and wanna go home, he goes with me. My apartment is almost an secret, he’s the first person to see it.
I decide to make raw food, he is trying to kiss me. I said no several times.
During the dinner he changes, like a personality disorder. He gets more stubborn and even tho I don’t want any thing more then an friendship.
I try to stop him, I panic, he didn’t listen to me.
We had sex, he raped me.
I want to leave my home, leave him. But some thing stopped me.
Him.
My apartment is meant to be a safe place, but now I’m hit by anxiety then I’m home.

I didn’t called any one, I didn’t speak up. I’m scared, and I’m still.
My friends want me to report it to the police, I can’t, would they believe me? and what will my family not think?
I’m shamed over my self, I’m feeling like I’m dirty, a robot and not me.
After 3 months people stopped me and ask “how far are you” like I was pregnant, now I felt like my friend should know that happenned, and he was supportive. I’m not pregnant, luckily.

I still fight with my self, and I can’t live in my apartment, it reminds me of the rape.

— Amanda, age 20

1 comment

  • Alissa Ackerman

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