was victimized by my brother from age 8 – 14. He was 14-19 years old. I hid these memories until I was 55 and learned that he had also assaulted my younger sister and another younger sister. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have been in counseling for over two years. I was finally able to forgive myself for not telling, not screaming for it to stop, he had told me if I let him do as he wanted to me he would not hurt my baby sister, but he did hurt them anyway.
I am learning to use my voice, and to deal with my trauma. 8 sisters and two brothers. The oldest brother nearly killed my older sister trying to rape her, my next older sister was victimized by my father, my next sister was sexually assaulted by the same brother as me. Two sisters, the very oldest and the very youngest have no memories. I am a survivor, we all are.
I was luck enough to be invited to the showing of the documentary Brave Miss World. Thank you for sharing your story, for standing up and screaming for ALL the victims everywhere. God bless you.
– Wanita
Wanita,
Thank you so much for your courage and bravery. I am so glad you were able to see Brave Miss World. It is a life changing documentary for so many people. It is inspiring to hear that after all of these years you are learning to use your voice. You have an important story to tell and you are an inspiration. So thank YOU for standing up and sharing your story here.
I was molested by my first cousins, a male and female, when I was 4. They were 11 and 7, respectively. I told my mother. She didn’t know what to do the first time. The molestation continued.
I told my mother, again. This time she told my Grandmother. She changed how we were supervised and it ceased.
I experienced PSTD. They all laughed and made fun of me, with the exception of my Grandmother. This continued throughout my childhood. I did not speak from 4-16 years of age.
When I entered college, I began having flashbacks. I went to therapy. I told my mother.
She asked me if my flashbacks were real.
My mother was counting on a 4 year old not having a memory.
She let me recount my story and beg not to tell my Grandmother out of embarrassment.
When I was 40 years old, I was sitting with them telling both of them HOW this impacts a persons, no, MY life. My mother couldn’t bear it. Grandmother sat with me and said, “It wasn’t your fault.”
My mother then told me my aunt knew. I told her I didn’t blame her for what her children did.
She sounded shocked! My mother lied to me.
My aunt spoke with her children. They both denied the molestation.
As my beloved Grandmother lay dying, they called her saying, “Tell mama, she crazy!” ‘That never happened did it?!” All while my nieces and nephews looked on.
What they didn’t know was that she knew it Was True for 40 years!
She knew their true characters long ago.
Them: my aunt knew because her husband molested her children, they each other. They never amounted to anything. Jail, drugs, selling ass to the highest baby daddy.
Me, success is the sweetest revenge.
I Will Always Speak! Even when you seek to silence me.
I was able to share my story because I saw the film, Brave Miss World! I feel the years of shame and kept secrets falling off of me like a watershed. Today I own what my Grandmother said, “It wasn’t my fault.” Thank you!