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It was his word against mine

It was a calm night, I was sitting on my couch when I got a text from my step brother saying he wanted me to come over to celebrate his birthday. I drove over there and already had me a few drinks when he told me his friend was coming over. I never met the guy but I heard a lot of stories from my step brother about him. By the time he got there i was beyond drunk. Then my stepbrother gave me a joint and gave me some more drinks. During this time his friend kept on moving closer to me and i kept on moving away. There was a point where I couldn’t even speak so I laid down on the couch. The last thing I really remember was the friend asking me if i was asleep yet. Then I woke up for a split second and felt someone on top and inside me. When I officially woke up i had no panties or pants on. The friend was naked beside me and still had a condom on. I looked for my car keys and couldn’t find them but thankfully i had a spare set in my car. Then when i drove to a parking lot down the street and it hit me. I was raped. I had a friend come pick me up and took me to my moms. I went to the hospital and had a rape kit done. My step brother called me crying saying how sorry he was. It’s been 5 months since I had my rape kit down and it still hasn’t been tested. Ever since that day I have never been the same. I ended up dropping out of college because I couldn’t handle going to my classes. I lost 20 pounds. I only left my room if I had too. My investigator basically told me to drop the case because he said I agreed to sex and since I was drunk and didn’t really remember anything that I could of possibly said yes to sex. She believed his word more than mine. Everyday is hard and I still have nights where i wake up screaming crying. I was raped but that’s not who I am. I lost myself for awhile but him raping me doesn’t identify who I am. I still haven’t found it in my heart to forgive him. I just wish he knew how mad he messed up my life. No one deserves to go through that. I do pray that God will revile his truth.

— Survivor, age 19

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