It Was My Fault

I’m going to say everything honestly right now…

I’m a teenager, and last summer I got into the habit of smoking weed because I was really stressed out. All my parents did was argue and my brother was really abusive to. I also was self harming and smoking lessened the occurrence. So I knew this guy, he was like 3 or 4 years older than me. He offered to smoke with me and I could pay half the price. I didn’t think much about it so I accepted that offer. And throughout the whole time we were smoking he kept asking me if I was high, and I kept saying no until I got high. Then he asked me if I ever made out with anyone high, I quickly answer yes girls, I’m lesbian. He asked me if i wanted to try and then he push me against this wall and he kept kissing on my neck and touching me. And i kept pushing him off. He repeated hit me and told me gays go to hell. He sunk his nails into me at one point and told me that i deserved everything i was getting. And i tried to yell for help, once. only once because he hurt me pretty badly the first time. I thought I wasn’t gonna make it i thought he was gonna kill me. Then when he was done he kicked me to the side as if i was nothing. As if I wasn’t a human being. I never told anyone. He lives fairly close. And I see him often.

– Alyssa, 14 years old