I was raped 1 year and and a half ago. I say rape even though I was drunk and maybes flirted a little because that doesn’t make what he done to me justifiable. I want all my warriors reading this to know that. It is not your fault.
I lost my way in life after this happened. I’ve pined for the girl I used to be. I know many of us feel like that. But now I don’t. I don’t grieve for her anymore. This has taught me a lot about myself. It’s taught me how I need to live my life again. It’s made realize how I want to travel the world and see all it’s beauty. Its also taught me how I need to love myself again. In many ways I blamed myself for what happened. I hated myself. But no more!
Recently I found the courage to go back to the police to pursue my case. I want that bastard to rot in hell for what he took from me. I changed because I had to, not because I wanted to. Now I feel he needs to pay for what he has done.
Of course as predicted he denied it was him on the CCTV. The police described him as ‘genuine’. This has made me question whether or not it really was him or if I just think it was him. No! I remember his face that night. I remember the stories he told me. That night will stay with me forever. The closure I needed was just handed to me in that moment. He has known all this time he raped me. I can see through him and he knows I can! Karma will get him. He’s told people ‘ she was drunk. She obviously cheated on her boyfriend and he’s found out and she’s cried rape’ so much for ‘genuine’ ha!
Me and my boyfriend are no longer together. The pressure and strain this had on our relationship was too much. He changed and became too overprotective. I was trying to not let what happened to me control my life, after all I haven’t even lived it yet. He wouldn’t get help and before you know it the relationship became a burden and I felt suffocated.
I’m writing this post to let all my strong woman and men know that it does get better. I have learned to trust men again and you will too. We will always be more cautious but that is who we are now. When you accept that you can finally move on from the past and look forward to the future instead of going to bed wishing you don’t wake up the next day.
It’s true what they say, time is truly a marvelous healer x
— Jessica, age 20