t’s been 5 years since I last saw you. 5 years since I found you on a Christian dating website. We had been on one date previous to that night. You invited me over for your birthday party, I went, even though the forecast showed extreme rain and hail. I spent about 3 hours with you and your friends; I was starting to fall for you. When you walked me out to my car, you kissed me very deeply, and I hate to say I enjoyed it. I kissed you back and pretty soon we were in a full blown make out session. You pulled open my passenger door and pushed me on the seat. I tried to get back up but you held me down. You were so much bigger and stronger than I was. As I started to cry, saying that I didn’t want to do this, you shook your head and laughed. I pleaded for you to let me go, but you didn’t. You had one hand pinning my chest down and the other pulling down your pants. You pulled my shorts aside and forced your way in. I could barely breathe and couldn’t stop crying. I hated you. When you finished, you pulled your pants up, got in your car, and left. Left me in my car crying and in pain. I finally encouraged myself to sit up and move to the drivers side. I was an hour and a half away from home, and it had begun to pour down rain. I started to drive off, numb from what had just happened. After I had been driving for a bit I pulled over on the highway shoulder, and began to cry in hysterics. I kept telling myself it was my fault, and even to this day I believe it. You ruined me. You ruined my self esteem, how I look at myself. I went into a major depression and tried to end my life because of you. You still haunt me, 5 years later. I have a fiancé now, and the weight of what you did to me still hangs over my head. But I refuse to let you ruin this relationship. You don’t deserve that much credit.
— Survivor, age 25