I was raped about a year before I was kidnapped. The kidnapping is more traumatic for me because nearly 20 years later I recognized a story on a profiling on America’s Most wanted that I knew it was the same people who kidnapped me. I escaped by some incredible strokes of luck but apparently there were at least 50 or maybe as many as 100 murders of women most of them prostitutes that had happened surrounding this same truck stop in Dayton, Ohio. I called the program and told them they were looking for 1 person and it should have been 2. I talked to the interviewer for a long time and he was supposed to call me back but he never did. I felt I wasn’t believed and violated again. Since then I have been overwhelmed with guilt because I didn’t identify him when I had a chance. It was right after the Kent State killings and the police (which should have a copy of my story and the identification of the guy they stopped and who was one o f the men who kidnapped me) but I was so scared I did not identify him. I was a hippie and they killed hippies in Ohio which was the warning given to me by friends. I felt victimized a second time but mostly I felt responsible for their deaths. If I had spoken up when I had a chance would those girls still be alive?
— Dianna Olsen, age 63
Dianna,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with the Brave Miss World community. I have heard so many people say that when they’ve tried to speak up that they have been silenced – which often feels like being violated again. I understand the feeling of guilt you speak of and I want you to know that I have come to understand that the actions of others do not reflect you. You are NOT responsible for the deaths of these women. The only people responsible are the people who did it. It can feel like an unbearable burden to carry this guilt, but I assure you it was not your fault. I hope in time you can make peace with that. You are very brace for sharing your story here. Light and love to you, Alissa
Dianna – Thank you so much for allowing us to read your story. I understand the guilt you feel but what they did to those women is not your fault. You had to survive; you were scared and you did what you had to do. I know it is hard to think this way but the shame and guilt is your kidnappers’ NOT yours. I wish they had been caught but I also wish there had been a safe, supportive environment for you. I want you to know that I believe you and I believe in your ability to heal. I’m thinking of you and sending you lots of love and support. Alexis
Dear Dianna, none of the fault lies with you – the guilt 100% belongs to the perpetrators of all of those horrendous crimes. And to some degree those who did not listen to your words. You did the best you could with the resources, both emotional and in terms of your support system and the justice system. Your resilience shines through, and I believe your wounds can heal. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I am honored to read it.