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Kind of Asking For It?

I went to a bar with 2 of my friends late one thursday night. One of my friends recognized some guys from her high school… there were 3 of them and three of us. I was really drunk and vulnerable. I was also a virgin at the time. One of the guys started to kiss me at the bar, which I was okay with. One of my friends suggested that we all walk back to campus together. I didn’t realize what was going on… these guys were under the impression that they were all getting laid. The guy that kissed me started to put my hands down his pants and I kept telling him that I didn’t want to have sex. I said it at least 20 times, to which he would always respond, “it’s gonna happen eventually, why not now?” or, “live while you’re young”.
The guy came all the way to my room with me and asked to come in. Being drunk and not really realizing what was happening, I said yes. He then proceeded to take off my clothes, then his clothes. I was fine with giving him head and kissing, but I really didn’t want to have sex. I kept telling him this, to which he would say things like, “We’re basically already having sex”, and “get a condom, it’s better to be safe than sorry”. I kept saying no, and he would say things like,”are you gonna get the condom, or am i” and “am i gonna have to sift through your drawers?”
So, he got a condom, and you can pretty much guess what happened after that.
I kept blaming myself, I led him on, didn’t i?
I also blamed my friends… how could they just expect that I was gonna want to have sex with him?
I filed a report with the police and he is now banned from my university.
I still haven’t worked up the courage to tell my parents, but my sister is always there for support.
Remember that you’re never alone.

— Survivor, age 18

3 comments

  • Understanding
  • ana
  • Allison

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