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September 18th, 2019

Raped in the Air Force

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My first duty stationed 28 years ago, i was sexually assaulted by my first supervisor and violently raped by an officer in my unit. The violence of that raped, ruined me for a long time. Suffer from severe PTSD and after 31 years i am being forced out of the...
December 9th, 2015

They asked if I was lying

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In August 2005, I was raped by someone known to my family. I was drunk and passed out when it happened. For a long time, I felt like it was my mistake. Like it was my fault that someone had done this to me. I remember people asking me if...
May 4th, 2019

To my best friend who raped me

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To my best friend who raped me, I am so torn between feeling love for you and feeling hate for what you have done; what you have taken away from me is irreplaceable. On the first of May, I lost hope for all living things to live and breathe and...
May 8th, 2019

I didn’t even know what was happening

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I say I didnt know what was happening and I mean that, now I do, but at the age of 7 those things aren’t programmed into our brains. We don’t learn in preschool what sexual assault or rape is. We were on vacation in Mexico and my parents went out...
December 21st, 2014

Family Secrets

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From the ages of 6-11, I was molested by my 12-17 year old step-brother. He started out making me kiss him. Saying that all brothers and sisters did it. Then came the touching and later on the oral sex. He would threaten to rape me or tell our parents “what...
December 2nd, 2022

Sexual Coercion

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I was sexually coerced this semester at college. It was one of my longtime friends. I thought I could trust him but I was wrong. He and I talked about hanging out and so we did. We talked for a while, was physical and was at first consensual. Then he...
July 25th, 2023

Older

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When I was 16, I was introduced to a 24 year old retired marine who has had a very difficult life. We became friends first and I wanted to help him through his breakup and fix his depression. We then started dating. A few months into the relationship, after I...
August 10th, 2014

Halloween Nightmare

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I was raped at the age of 22 while in college. It was my senior year and all I was looking forward to was running well and making the grades in school. I was on the varsity cross country and track team for my university and when October came it...
March 17th, 2023

Indigo

I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on our weekly journey across the Bay Bridge to the Campus. The other student was an accomplished Quilter named Linda MacDonald. Linda lived in Willits near the famous Mendocino Art Center, but traveled to Berkeley to attend this class once a week. The Indigo vat was made in a 32-gallon garbage can and had to be kept covered between dyeing sessions. Indigo is a unique rich blue dye that develops with an oxidization process when exposed to air. Dipping the fabric several times, and allowing the natural fiber to oxidize before dipping it again, creates darker shades of blue. The dye in the vat is created from a mixture of indigo pigment, various chemicals and a reducing agent to remove oxygen from the dye. It is a rich green color while in the vat, which shows up on the fabric before it is fully exposed to the air. The smell emitted from the dye is unusual, a musky odor in my mind. I like to think that it smells like the color blue. The vat needs to be carefully stirred and maintained between dyeing sessions. There is a “bloom” on the top of the vat created by oxidized indigo, making a bubbly and shiny ball of material reminiscent of a flower. The “bloom” gets moved to the side before entry of the pre-wetted fabric. The process reminds me of baking bread or making yogurt where the steps need to be carefully followed to achieve the desired results. In the process of bread and yogurt making, there are living cultures involved in order to create the product, and with the creation and dyeing process of indigo, it has that same feeling of being alive. In order to create interesting patterns, my classmates and I would use resist techniques on the fabric like pastes, stitching and clamping. Simple household items like clothespins could be used to create patterns by folding and then placing the pins at intervals along the fold lines. Beautiful and surprising results were achieved using these methods. Image of Indigo dye on fabric during the oxidization process. My dream of being a professional artist, all started in early childhood, and the first memories of my creations go back to Nursery School. I loved playing with all kinds of materials, like paint, clay, and crayons, just to name a few examples. Mel (Melanie), painting at Jack and Jill Nursery School, Walnut Creek, California, 1960. In 1974, a neighbor in Marin where I was living at the time and studying art at College of Marin told me about an Art School in Mexico. I ended up sending off slides of my work with an application to the Instituto Allende, and was delighted to hear that I was accepted. I began my journey to study there in San Miguel de Allende by flying to Mexico City in January of 1975. A bus ride completed that journey. When I first arrived, I moved in with a family who had two small children, including a newborn. It seemed like a safe living situation for a 19-year-old woman, but that shortly proved to not be true when the husband started coming on to me. I ended up finding my own place on the other side of town. It was a spacious abode with a wall that was shared with a weaving factory next door. There were 2 adjoined bedrooms, a bathroom, a large living/kitchen area and a small concrete patio out the back door. There was no hot water, refrigerator or a telephone. When I needed hot water for dishes, I would boil some on the stove. For showers, I had to build a fire in a box below a water tank outside to get hot water. I felt much more secure living there and walking a further distance to the Instituto on the other side of town than living with the husband who had made me feel so unsafe. There was the Central Plaza, which was called the “Jardin” that was in the middle of town, and I would pass through it on my walk quite frequently. This was the site of fireworks and festivals, like the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. The streets were cobblestone and many charming shops and galleries were located downtown. The School itself was on a beautiful campus with large ornate doors in front that were closed when school was not in session. Photo of the closed front doors of the Instituto Allende I had heard about you and what you had done to other women before you appeared in my main living space one sunny spring afternoon pointing a gun at me. You had a bandana wrapped around your face and tied behind your head. I had heard you first, in the bathroom. Dressed in a long polyester dress with colorful psychedelic patterns. I wasn’t wearing any underwear or shoes. I walked through the 2 bedrooms and turned left when I saw you standing there. I screamed and shouted, “help me,” thinking that workers at the Weaving Factory would hear me and come rescue me. Nobody came. You said to me “Coyote” which I later learned meant to be quiet or to shut up. You grabbed my shoulders and dragged me out the unlocked back door onto the concrete patio. The tops of my feet got scraped. I gave up. I knew you were going to rape me. I just wanted you to finish as quickly as possible. You took off your belt and put down your gun. Somehow I managed to pick up your gun and threw it over the wall embedded with glass on the top, into the alleyway. The same wall you had climbed over to get into my place through the unlocked back door. Towards the end of this ordeal, I heard a knock on my door. You left, climbing back over the wall. I answered the door. My friend Rhonda had come by to visit me. I told her what had happened and we walked to the Police Station nearby. I had your belt with me. The one you left behind. I went to the front counter, telling the officers behind the counter what had happened to me. They were laughing and playing cards at the time. I showed them your belt. They told me to bring you in if I saw you again. I left with Rhonda and took a bath at the where place she lived. We didn’t talk about what happened. We moved in together shortly after that. I sent a telegram to my father and stepmother about what had happened to me. Nobody came to help me. Rhonda helped me when I got hepatitis A and could no longer go to school. I was on my own when it came to figuring out how to return to the Bay Area. I moved in with my father and stepmother. They didn’t talk to me about what happened to me. They sent me to a doctor who diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. He showed me how to give myself insulin injections. He told me to practice by injecting oranges with empty syringes. My mother told me years later that “You were never the same again” after what you did to me. I survived. I gave up art for 15 years before realizing that I wanted to go back to art school. In those years, I became so disturbed that I had panic attacks, deep depression and needed to move in with my mother at age 30. I started therapy after becoming self destructive in my 20’s. Depression also called “the blues” has been my long time companion. It has taken me a lifetime to heal. My iPhone predicts the words, depression, PTSD and C-PTSD for my text messages. After my Indigo dyeing class at San Francisco State, I enrolled in the Textiles Fine Art program at California College of Arts and Crafts (now known as California College of the Arts) in Oakland. I was married at the time and had become pregnant with our daughter Emily right before classes started in September. Emily was born on May 13, 1991. By the Fall of 1992, I was a single mom and an art student. An inheritance from my mother who died in 1995, allowed me to graduate and to buy my first home. I continued to work with indigo dyeing and created a large textile piece about my experience in Mexico. After many years of therapy and other healing modalities, I recently started painting on canvas. Part of that process has been a Soul Retrieval session to bring back my 4 year old self who loved to paint. I am feeling uplifted and encouraged after many years of recurring periods of severe emotional pain. Stay tuned for more details about my new work. One of my final pieces was a textile called “Out of the Blues.”
1
I returned to fine art in 1990 when I took at class in indigo dyeing at San Francisco State University. I was lucky that the instructor, Yoshiko Wada, and another student from her class, were in the East Bay so that we could carpool together. We would talk textiles on...
June 22nd, 2022

1 in 5

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1 in 5 Prior to joining a university campus, a serious of random webinars with quizzes about how much alcohol can affect the body and cheesy acting about doing the ‘right’ thing. It flies over most college freshman, who all have the same belief that I once had ‘that won’t...
October 7th, 2022

3 years later i still wonder if...

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Was this sexual assault? When i was a teenager, I had a guy best friend who was dating my best friend. He tried to be in a relationship with me before but i made i clear that i just wanted to be friends. One night all of us (me him...
March 5th, 2024

My step dad raped me

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I would have never imagined the person who I praised and idolised could have ever hurt me this much. An individual who I adored more than I could have anyone. A parent is a person whose sole purpose is to provide, care for and show love to their child. A...
May 15th, 2019

This Is My Story

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I was Only Seven My Dad Had A Girlfriend Who Had Many Sons and Just The One Took Me In My Room And Starting Playing With My Toys With Me Then We Played House n Had Barbie Kids Untill He Started Touching On me I didn’t Know It Was Inappropriate...
December 22nd, 2015

Is There Still Hope

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I was 9 or 10 when it happen it’s pretty sad because I don’t remember much. I was at my best friend’s house and we were playing with her brother downstairs in his room. So we ended up sleeping down there and I woke up to him raping me. I...
May 24th, 2019

The Statistics that Changed Me

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2 sexual assaults and 1 rape… the statistics of my story. I can’t promise that this story is pleasant, but I can tell you that power and growth comes with telling it. So sincerely, thank you for hearing me out. October 2017 I was in Chebut, Argentina(a part of the...
May 8th, 2019

Spoke out and was blamed

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I am the only girl at a job of 4 men. I am also 20 while these men are 40+. One worker would grab me from behind when I would walk in the back to the bathroom. This would happen often. One day all my coworkers had to go outside...
April 21st, 2021

A respectable collegue

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The next day I walked down the stairs to the hotel, aware that he was sitting at the table having breakfast. Some things you think would never happen to you, you think that working externally with a colleague (married and with children) is not dangerous. But then in a moment...
July 18th, 2024

Not normal

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Molested from age 2-14 then raped by adopted father. I ran away stayed in the system till I got married to high school sweetheart.
January 11th, 2016

Dad and Uncle Raped Me

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I was 12 years old. Christmas Eve 1995 when I was home with my dad and his brother who my uncle. They were drinking, I was in my room sleeping when my uncle came in and took my pants off. He was kissing and touching me. He said he wanted...
April 3rd, 2015

5th Grade

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I was in 5th grade the first time I was raped. I know the name of this man, but I prefer to not say. Let’s call him Number6 and his friend Number5. After school, one day we got on the bus because I had to go to the Middle School...
May 12th, 2019

Too good to be true

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I met him in a gas station and he impressed me mostly because he approached me and seemed genuinely interested in the bond between my daughter and I. Within a couple of weeks we were texting, calling and FaceTiming each other constantly. When he asked me on a first date...
April 18th, 2019

My husband raped me when I took...

2
I just want him to be sorry and get help.
November 11th, 2016

Let’s Fight Back With Love

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Hi fellow survivors. The recent posts I am seeing on this site sadden me because we are all strong survivors and we should try to always remember this. I know like me, many of you are still having a hard time processing that a man who is so clearly a...
October 4th, 2020

I was a victim of serious child...

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I was 9, it was after school at swimming club when the teacher had to urgently go home. We were told to go home but no one was at school anymore apart from us. I didnt care as my parents were on vacation and i had no one at home,...
June 1st, 2019

The Life I Live

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When I was 7 my cousin started touch me. He was older and he said it was okay we were practicing. I wasn’t sure what he meant. This went on for 3 years. He would touch my body and claimed it was his. He said it was a way to...
December 26th, 2019

Ms.

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I was raped by a co-worker when I was in my mid-20’s. We were at a work function, we were all drinking, then about 10 of us went to his place to continue the party. He grabbed me on my way out of the washroom and dragged me into his...
June 24th, 2020

Too naïve

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I was 16. I had my first job, a lifeguard. I was so excited. I have been a swimmer since I was 5 so this was a very fitting job for me. I was the youngest person working there by far. Most of the kids were in college and one...
April 1st, 2021

Sex doll

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After work one night I was drugged by a co-worker. I woke up in his bed naked. He was not in the room. I felt 2 emotions very heavily and immediately. Shame and wrong. I remember looking around for my clothes in a panic. I don’t remember how I got...
April 28th, 2019

Katie Jones

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So, 23 Years old In a holiday town, the strip club was the best money to earn. We worked late one night and our manager sold us to a party at a hotel. We thought it was an innocent after party, how ever when I entered the toilet with my...
April 10th, 2025

She was never the same…

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She grew up in Philadelphia in a working class area and found her first love living a few blocks from her. Denise loved him very much and went on a Jersey Shore vacation but came home a shell of herself. Her first love took her life and made her mother...
March 18th, 2015

The Stepmonster

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I was only eight when it originally started. My stepdad would touch me in my crotch and chest area. He would only do it with my mom at work. He would even do it in front of my little sister, but he never did it in front of his son....
October 12th, 2023

Workplace Sexual Harassment

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As I write this story to you, please note that this sexual harassment case is still in progress. It began in December of 2022 when I worked as a contractor for a company named TEKsystems. I do IT work for Nutrien Ag Solutions. The first week I was there, I...
May 9th, 2019

My brother raped my sister and my...

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So about 9 or 10 years ago, when my sister was 6/7 years old, my brother who was 11/12 years old at the time, raped/possibly groomed my sister. Our family isn’t like everyone else’s. My sister decided (even though it was up to CPS) no to press charges because she...
June 8th, 2023

Unethical or illegal?

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Last year my partner and I worked for the same business. It was a small business near a small town and it had no management or HR of any sort – only one man owned and ran it, even though it served thousands of people each year. I hit it...
May 14th, 2019

Drunk and taken advantage of

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It happened in October of 2018, I was 15, and a sophomore in high school. I live in a small town where teens to nothing but party to have fun because there is nothing else to do. In the town next to mine there is a college that a couple...
August 6th, 2020

The First time I shared…

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For my healing my therapist said-if you can’t verbalize, write it… i was like i want to, I don’t know how to— she said well write those letters to your mom, to those people that have caused you trauma from your child. At first not only was i resistant (why...
July 24th, 2019

LOST

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When I was 5 years old, I was sexually assaulted by many men. The next day I tried to kill myself. At the age of 10, I was raped and again tried to end it by ending my life. I also am a survivor of FASD and there for not...
October 9th, 2022

When My Body Wasn’t Mine.

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I remember the times where my body wasn’t mine. When you grabbed my barely developing body forcefully. And my small body with little to no strength could not fight back. Could not take away your hands from places that were supposed to be private. Places that were supposed to be...
June 25th, 2024

i was pulling my shorts up

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i had this boyfriend from 15-16 and he was always bad to me. he told me he was ‘protective’ over me because he cares & i never thought it was escalate to this. i lost my virginity to him and had consensual sex with him many times before he raped...
August 16th, 2020

Does the pain ever go away?

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I really don’t know how to write this but I do want to try. I’ve been reading these stories for a while and have wanted to write my own but every time I try it’s too hard to actually put words down… I don’t know why this keeps happening. Every...
April 25th, 2024

Another kid raped me

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When I was in kindergarten there was a girl that everyone hated, she would pin other younger kind down and rape them but to us it just looked like punching and stuff like that. That wasn’t OK but we were scared that she would punch us if we told the...
March 5th, 2016

My Only Brother

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My parents were always out so it would just be me and my brother which was fine he took care of me and we were close so I never thought he would hurt me or tell me anything wrong so I trusted him. My mom went to work her night...
June 2nd, 2023

He Was Saving Me From Me

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I thought I wasn’t worth it Suicide I kept escaping it Depression, the shadow i hid in Screaming:: When will this mental illness end Couldn’t find someone to truly call a friend Felt like i lost my wind I was self destructing, didn’t know what it was like to be...
October 5th, 2023

my toxic relationship

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on september 9th 2023. last month i was raped by a man i was in a relationship with at the time. i met him from facebook dating. at some point we exchanged numbers. we hung out together numerous times. during the relationship with him. he would buy me cigarettes and...
May 6th, 2022

My Ongoing Journey

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When I finally decided to switch my major to psychology and now pursue my career as a therapist, I got a lot of questions. Things like, why do you want to be a therapist? I got this from family, friends, and even strangers back in the time I served tables....
August 22nd, 2022

Fraternity gang rape

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This is something I have never shared online before only with close family and my current partner. When I was freshly 19 I moved to Eastern Washington University to start school as a freshman. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and would be attending school with...
October 15th, 2022

Male dancer

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Hello my Name is Tj. This happen about 4 years ago I was 19 years old at very young age I always tried to see the good in people. I was always happy and felt nothing could break me down went threw cancer as a baby lost my brother and...
July 3rd, 2020

The pain that was never mine to...

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I was a freshman in college. It was first semester and I was there for maybe about a month. One night my friends and I went to a party. As we were there, I started talking to a guy and eventually went back to his appt.  Once we were in...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
August 18th, 2019

Abusée par un voisin de mes grands...

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Bonjour chère Linor, Je suis en train de regarder Brave Miss World. Merci! Je témoigne car j’en ai peu parlé dans ma vie. J’avais 4 ou 5 ans. Je vivais avec mes grands-parents et ils me posaient parfois le samedi chez la voisine qui me gardait pour aller à un...
December 2nd, 2019

Nerve damage

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I was raped by someone that was supposed to be my boyfriend when I was 11. When I was 20, I fell in love with a men 2 years older then me. We went out for 2.5 years. None of the sexual activity in this relationship was consensual. I am...
May 9th, 2019

To My Rapist

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You remind of my dad a little, the way you like to fly airplanes and because you like to build things. That made me feel comfortable with you, I felt safe and warm, I trusted you. I believed you would listen to me, really listen to me but you didn’t...
November 2nd, 2019

Ms

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I was 21 years old. I had moved into a flat with my first boyfriend Pete and his best friend, Paul and his pregnant girlfriend Gerry. Pete and Paul were friends from being in the army together. They were both 26 years old. Paul was also my first cousin. I...
October 15th, 2020

Wide awake

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I was 7 when I met him, he was my sisters softball coach. After a while I started to enjoy softball too so decided to join. Then he started to invite me over with him daughter my age, at first we only hung out for like a hour. Then his...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

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My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
February 2nd, 2022

It wasn’t your fault

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It Wasn’t Your Fault The mere fact of being born a woman is enough to place you in a sort of danger for your entire life. Society still makes sure to place you there, and more importantly, to make you believe it is only your fault. And while I did...
May 20th, 2019

Lied to left brain damged

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I was completely lied to and mislead . Can you can you believe a hospital would keep the fact that you were raped because of a negligence they caused my arm by putting a catheter in me. You see back in 2014 A co-worker male asked me to go out...
April 27th, 2019

Everyone Else Likes You, Too

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I had never been to a bar before. Sure, I’d gone out to Applebees with other coworkers where they’d serve me drinks. But I was 19, and had to drive home. I had never been drunk before, and didn’t push my limits. I went to the bar to see him...
August 17th, 2019

My/our German “Weinstein” Case

6
My name is Jany Tempel. I live both in Germany and Thailand. I turned public now, to end the big silence of our country. Almost twenty years ago I had already written a novel about my arduous life. The book wasn’t published back then, mainly because I reported on crimes...
May 26th, 2020

My Last Party

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It was my first year of college. I was the type that hated parties since high school so I barely go out. But our midterms were finished and my friend insisted we should go. So I decided to call my boyfriend too. I remember the party was too loud and...
October 16th, 2019

I was a kid, you were my...

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My first memory of being touched in such an unpure way was when I was three or four. I lived with my grandparents on my bio dad’s side. My step- Grandma would molest me while my grandpa would watch NASCAR next to us. I don’t think he knew, but who...
November 27th, 2024

I know when I see a rapist...

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The stalking, gaslighting, victimizing, and of course sexual abuse, were never okay with me. But you just don’t get that because you’re a predator.
December 2nd, 2020

Mrs

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I think I may have been raped, nearly 20 years ago. I was staying at my boyfriends house (now ex) at the time. We were young (17) and I was a virgin as we’d decided to wait to progress our relationship. One night I stayed over at his parents house,...
April 23rd, 2021

10 years later I realised

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I went out with my best friend around 10-12 years ago. We got drunk, had fun, flirted, met some guys and agreed to go back to their flat for drinks. I remember us feeling a bit uncomfortable but going with it. We were about 19. We hadn’t kissed either guy,...
March 23rd, 2021

Thought He Was A Friend

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I was raped when I was in my early 20’s by someone I thought was a friend. The night began when a group of us went out to the bars and came back to my friends house afterwards to crash. I had gotten very, very drunk and I passed out...
September 1st, 2019

My fiancé is my rapist but I...

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I have a past of sexual abuse but for the most part I’ve put it behind me though I get flashbacks every so often when watching a triggering show or something. My problem currently is my fiancé. This isn’t a new development in our relationship this started since we started...
June 29th, 2020

My story

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Hey, I’m an 18 year old girl, living in central germany with a special story. When I was younger I’ve always been interested in different languages and i always wanted to improve my language skills. So when I was 16 years old right before my birthday i’ve decided to look...
June 11th, 2025

Just Words

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Just words. You have trouble talking about these things. You realize you have trouble talking about a lot of things. You remember being excited about your first job at Dairy Queen. One of your friends works there and you know a lot of people work there as a summer job....
October 12th, 2021

A Family Member Sexually Took Advantage Of...

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When I was 11 or 12 years old me and my family moved to a new neighborhood. Shortly after my mom helped my other family members move in across the street from us. We all wind up getting close because we were all close in age in someway. A family...
April 16th, 2009

Thank you

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I am a survivor of sexual abuse and rape. As a child my father repeatedly raped both my sister and I until we were adopted by my step-father. I suffered from selective amnesia and didn’t remember much of my youth until I was a freshman in college and began having...
August 30th, 2019

My story growing up with a secret

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I’m a black South African, I’m 40 years old now, and my son it 20 years old… loved, taught but I still can never live him alone with my nieces as I was left alone and violeted💔💔😭😭 I have spoken about this, but I hate putting this down in writting😭😭...
June 5th, 2019

Christianity teaches men to treat women like...

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I was born into a Christian household, 12 siblings, my mum was pregnant with twins,when I was 19, the guy I started dating (courting) was perfect in the eyes of my father, he has 8 siblings and both attended the same Christian church. We married after 3 months, on our...
December 5th, 2020

Summer 2019

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I got my first job working at a lovely Mediterranean restaurant/cafe one summer because my teacher said she knew the man who ran the place and put in a reference for me. I was 15. He was in his 60s. Two days after I started, the groping began. Only he...
March 12th, 2016

Hurt and Anger

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I was 9 years old when it all started, my mom started working in a new restaurant and would leave at 5am and come back at 3pm, and my “father” didn’t work for he had a lawsuit that didn’t let him work. It was random when my “father” started to...