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Life After Death

My boyfriend and I of 8 years had just broken up. He was an abusive alcoholic. When we broke up I knew it was for the best however, it still took a toll on me. I began to drink more then I ever had. I met Danny in my apartment building in July of 2015. He was much older then me but yet I felt comforted by confiding in someone that I thought I could trust.

On the night of July 12, 2015, he knocked on my apartment door and asked me to have a drink in his apartment. I said yes, and the next thing I remembered was waking up with my pants around my ankles and his mouth between my legs. After the police report was disclosed to me I had learned that it had been a period of several hours that he had molested and assaulted me. The hospital never did a rape kit and no exam or toxic screens were completed however, he had admitted during an interrogation that he had sexually assaulted me while I was asleep. At first he said it was consensual and that I was his girlfriend.

After several hours of interrogation is when he admitted to the detective to what he had done. A week later I received a phone call from the detective that this horrible creature committed suicide. I don’t know what is worse: having to sit in a court room and re-live that night and having him receive justice or having him take the easy way out of this life.

I am angry at him for killing himself… is this normal? Him killing himself made things worse for me not better. I continue to struggle. I have become an introvert and hate leaving my apartment. Every day tasks, like showering become a huge triumph when completed. I want to know if anyone else out there had an abuser that committed suicide and how they dealt with it. Is their life after death?

— Survivor, age 32

3 comments

  • Rebecca
  • Maryrose
  • Can

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