I was like 9 or 10 years old. A friend of mine was moving to Nogales Sonora so she invited another friend and me to the city. two adult uncles of my friend were staying in her house, and one night her uncles slept in the room where we were sleeping. I was sleeping in the bed with one of my friends and they were sleeping on the floor. I was asleep when suddenly I started feeling someone touching my privates. I woke up and when I saw on the floor one of her uncles was awake and looking at me and he asked me if I was cold. So I said “NO” and I went back to sleep. Five minutes later I started feeling the same and I looked to the floor again and he was getting asleep. I tried to fall asleep like 4 times but it was always the same. Every time I went back to sleep he started touching me and asking me if I was cold so he could warm me up. I was so scared that I woke up my friend and asked her if we could change places in bed. I started to cry and pray. I remember I prayed a lot and I was so scared I thought he would go around the bed to get me and rape me. I fell asleep praying and crying for my life. Next day her uncles left the house and I’ve never seen him again.
He made me much psychological damage. Since that day I can’t walk alone in the street because I’m afraid someone can rape me. My friends always asked me why I didn’t want to go for a walk or why I didn’t want to go and play outside, they never understood me. Whenever I see a man on the street I get scared and I start to pray. 10 years have passed and I have not been able to overcome this. I never told my mom cause I don’t have the courage and I don’t want her to blame herself cause she didn’t want me to go but I insist. Almost two years ago when I was 18, I was on a bus and next to me was a man sitting down, I got so scared that I started to cry and I spend all the trip looking at the window so I didn’t have to see his face. Sometimes I think I’m over reacting cause I wasn’t raped and their are a lot of girls suffering more than me, but I’m sure what happened to me is a horrible experience. I would like to help other girls than have been in the same situation as me and I would like some help to know how to deal with this.
— Mónica, age 20
Dear Mónica,
Thank you for sharing your story. I wanted to tell you that sexual trauma takes many forms. What happened to you was horrible and the feelings you have about it are real and valid. I believe that healing from experiences like this start with talking about it. I am really glad you shared your story here and I hope it helps you find a little bit of peace. There are great resources available to help people deal with experiences like this. If you’d like, I can help you find resources where you currently live. In the meantime, I am sending you a lot of love.