I was 18 and going to college in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Sometimes in the evenings I would go to the gay bars. One night I one that I had not been to before. There was a downstairs and upstairs area. Separated by race. I decided I wanted to go upstairs and see what was going on. The bouncer stopped me and told me I should not go upstairs, because of the race difference, and then his supervisor intervened and said that I had the right to go up there, so I went. I walked up to the bar and it was very crowded, so I went into the bathroom. There were about four urinals and maybe four stalls. It was very busy in there. I waited near one of the stalls. The door opened and somebody, a big man, started to come out of the stall. He saw me and as I entered the stall. He turned around and entered behind me and closed the door, pushed me up against the wall, pulled down my pants and sodomized me. I was too afraid to protest or say anything because I thought he would hurt me. After, he left me in there and exited the stall.
I left the stall, left the bathroom and left the bar.
All that was going through my mind was that I would not go back to that bar again.
Years later someone was recounting their rape story to me, a woman friend. I feel very sad that she had been violated, and also something rang true in my mind. I realize that I, too, had been raped … It had not dawned on me that a man could be raped, but this one had been.
– Tom, age 55