I was 18 and going to college in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Sometimes in the evenings I would go to the gay bars. One night I one that I had not been to before. There was a downstairs and upstairs area. Separated by race. I decided I wanted to go upstairs and see what was going on. The bouncer stopped me and told me I should not go upstairs, because of the race difference, and then his supervisor intervened and said that I had the right to go up there, so I went. I walked up to the bar and it was very crowded, so I went into the bathroom. There were about four urinals and maybe four stalls. It was very busy in there. I waited near one of the stalls. The door opened and somebody, a big man, started to come out of the stall. He saw me and as I entered the stall. He turned around and entered behind me and closed the door, pushed me up against the wall, pulled down my pants and sodomized me. I was too afraid to protest or say anything because I thought he would hurt me. After, he left me in there and exited the stall.
I left the stall, left the bathroom and left the bar.
All that was going through my mind was that I would not go back to that bar again.
Years later someone was recounting their rape story to me, a woman friend. I feel very sad that she had been violated, and also something rang true in my mind. I realize that I, too, had been raped … It had not dawned on me that a man could be raped, but this one had been.
– Tom, age 55
Tom – thank you so much for posting your story here. What you say is true – that rape is not restricted to men raping women. It can be women raping women or, in your case, men raping men. I so appreciate and respect the strength and bravery it took for you to post. I believe you and your story. I want to remind you that you are not alone and what happened to you is not your fault. I hope you continue to speak out and find healing, peace and love.
Alexis
Tom,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It breaks my heart that we live in a society that does not see that rape comes in so many different forms. Rape is silencing for the majority of survivors and for male survivors it is often more so. I am really glad you were able to find the words and come to the realization that you were raped. I hope that you have been able to come to terms with it and that you have found support. Light and love to you, Alissa
Thank you so much for your story your such an amazing brave special human being may angels always be with you and may you find peace and love x