Recently, there’s been a lot of people posting “me too” on social media. That statement is supposed to show others they’re not alone and reveal to the word the size of this epidemic.
I can’t help but feel more alone each and every time I see a “me too” status. I feel like I already knew how bad this was. I bet there’s not a girl out there who can truthfully say they’ve never experienced some sort of sexual misconduct.
I feel like posting a “me too” status is supposed to make you feel better or stronger or more helpful or supportive or… anything other than the nasty feeling it gives me every time I think about it.
If I posted me to…. All three of them would see it. My ex boyfriend who started dating me when I was 14 when he was 17, the one who abused me physically and mentally for three years, the one who turned me on my stomach and raped me in my sleep because I told him I never wanted to have anal sex with him, the one who threatened to kill any friend I had that wasn’t him.. he would see it. That friendly boy who lived in the same dorm hall as me my freshman year of college, the one who picked me up and carried me into his dorm room as I kicked and screamed, the one who threw me into a wall repeatedly saying, “I’m not going to stop so you need to,” until I tried to hurt him and ran away, the one who made me drop out of college…. he would see it. And finally, one of my best friends, a guy I’ve been close with for 8 years, the one who knew about every awful thing a guy had ever done to me, the one who came over a week ago and tried to have sex with me and when I said no he held me down and tried to put his hands in my pants and even after saying no over and over and pulling on his hands so hard that my nails were digging into his he still managed to get one of his hands on me over my pants…. He would see it too.
And the next day no matter how many “likes” my me too status got or how much “support” it received … It wouldn’t change anything about my situation. I know I’m strong. I know I’m supported. Maybe I’d be more afraid.
I’m probably wrong about the way I’m choosing to look at this. But I can’t help but feel like I’m not the only one.
— Survivor, age 19