It has not been a year since my father raped me, and everything changed since that day I did not return to be the same person I was before, I thought that maybe could get over act as if nothing had ever happened but I could, my mother took me to see three psychologists where all of them diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder. I wanted to send him to jail but my mother did not agree she told me it made no sense that he had been a great father for many years and only made a mistake my mother the person who is supposed had to support me destroyed my hopes of getting justice. I change I try to get ahead on my own to start a life without my family I finish my studies and I moved with my boyfriend I was starting a life trying to be happy with the person I love and leaving everything in the past when out of nowhere the memories of abuse began to return I feel that the situation is out of control, before I could relive the moment detail by detail but now I do not remember the nightmares also returned sometimes in the middle night i wake up screaming and my boyfriend tries to stay calm I remember that after a nightmare I asked if it was the first time I woke up screaming he told me it happens to me all the time every night. I no longer now how to handle the situation I just want nightmares to stop and leave all this trauma in the past.
— Maria, age 18
Hi Maria! Please never lose hope! I didn’t go through something like this and I can only just imagine how you must be feeling. If only I could help you, I gladly would without a second thought. Just know that it wasn’t your fault it happened. I’m praying for your recovery, and everyone in this website who shared their story. Alllll my loveee goes out for you. *sending hugs* I hope you get the justice you so rightfully deserve. I don’t know if this would be of any help, but i just want you to know that in order to overcome something from the past, you must help yourself. Fight the thoughts and the voices and the awful memories.. Be brave and strong, as you are NOT alone. The past will only have power to affect you, if you let them. And to know that you are there, typing this.. i’m just so proud of you. I can’t think of the right word to describe how awesome you are for making it. You are amazing.
Dear Maria – Thank you so much for sharing your story here. The nightmares you are experiencing are very common among those with PTSD. Healing from a trauma like you have experienced is not easy and can take a long time. Often a therapist can help you find ways to cope with the nightmares and the memories and help you navigate the journey to healing. Talking to supportive friends can be a helpful supplement to that. I am so sorry to read that your mother didn’t react the way you’d hoped. But I want you to know that I believe in you. I know you can heal from this and move on to a beautiful life with time and help and support. Please know you are not alone and I am sending you lots of support and healing thoughts.