As a young girl, I was molested by my mother’s boyfriend son. I thought it was okay to let a little boy play down there, but then later on in life it was not.
At the age of 16, I was walking home and saw these guys walking up behind me. So, I ran into this shortcut but to my surprise they followed. As I ran into a hiding spot they caught me. It was seven of them and little ol’ me. They tortured me. They beat me with a wire, gun butted me, burned me with a lighter, pulled my hair, and had gotten me drunk. Every time I fought back I would be chocked or punched in the neck. I remember blacking out and waking up naked in this disgusting motel with them starring at me like I was a piece of meat. One of the guys screamed out “hold her down.” I tried my hardest not to let them do it, but they were strong and I wasn’t. He sent the youngest over to break me in and raped me. He told them to let go of my arms and he choked me. When he was done he spat on me and said I am nothing but a whore. I got up and walk into the bathroom shaking. They all followed me into the bathroom and watch me cry in the shower.
They grabbed me out and continued to rape me one by one. They recorded every moment of it and sent it to my mom and my boyfriend of three years then afterwards sent it to everyone. I wanted to die inside. I cried scream until I just started staring at the ceiling. When they were finish they broke two of my legs and thrown me on the side of the road to die. I was found by a gentlemen. He took me to the hospital where I was treated.
Then a year afterwards, I was raped by my one of my very close friends. He always liked me as a girlfriend and I thought of him as a brother. He raped me in my room and ran away. Now I am currently pregnant with his child.
I have never pushed the case with the 7 gentlemen because they threaten to kill me. So they are free and the guy who I am pregnant for nobody knows besides me and him.
Someday I wish to die, but then I want protest against it.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with Brave Miss World. You have endured incredible trauma and you survived. I don’t know you, but when I read your story I see an amazing resilience. I see a fighter and mostly, I see a survivor. I hope that by telling your story here at Brave Miss World you find additional strength to continue telling your it! I hope that the days you want to live and shine your light far out weigh the days you do not. I am really proud of you for speaking out. You are very brave!
I loved your story. It was moving.
Young woman, I have to say, wow. I’ve been raped multiple times and never shared it. I feel your pain. Betrayal, confusion, anger pain, and I want you to think: don’t give up. Life is too short for that! Keep pushing on, you will survive. Remember: you’re strong, tell yourself when you get down.
I have had 6 sexual assaults throughout my life. Come dangerously close to a 7th in the last 2 months. The frankness of your story gave me the courage to state this. I thought I took too many risks. Led too adventurous a life. The truth is that I led a life of freedom, and you might say that I paid for my independence. And yet I have no regrets – about that.
I have tried to understand their point of view in an effort to forgive. It took me to some strange ideas. But ultimately it comes down to I see, I want, I take. Except that it’s not a buffet, its you, taken at their pleasure.
I have also learned, like you, that ultimately there is very little empathy among men for you once this happens. They get angry, and stamp their feet, but ultimately the strength of their affiliation will prevail. And they forget about it, except for the nagging doubt that perhaps in some way you brought this upon yourself.
I have learned that I cannot allow this to define me. Every trip to the parking lot, midnight boat ride, or open door would be fraught with fear. And so, in time, I live my life, but my ears are always pointed forward. I trust my intuition, and gut feel. And I always have protection, and a back up plan.
Next time, they will have to kill me.