It was a week after my 19th birthday when I was raped by a fellow Airman. I had been in the Air Force for 6 months and was doing well. I loved my job and my station. It was the night before Thanksgiving that year and my quad mates invited me to go to a house party off base. When I arrived I noticed that the guy who had just a moth before raped my friend was there just hanging out. I had been a witness against him in my friends case so when he saw me he cornered me in the kitchen to talk. He told me his side of the story and all I wanted to do was get away from him so I just smiled and nodded. My quad mates would not take me home so I was stuck at the party until they wanted to leave. I ended up having a few too many drinks and went to lie down in a quiet room because my head was spinning. When I woke up he was on top of me, inside of me and his friends were watching doing a live commentary like it was a sport event. I froze. I could see outside of the door another person watching but they did nothing. When he finally finished he said to me “not so pretty now”. After he left the room I ran out the door and locked myself in the bathroom. I had remembered that I should not go pee to preserve evidence but I had to go. So when I wiped myself I took the dirty toilet paper with me in my bag. My rapist had been pounding on the door the whole time telling me that what had happened was just between us, nothing happened. When he left the door I ran out of the house with him chasing after me. The person that I had seen watching from the door during my assault was waiting with his car and told me to get in. I did. He said on the car ride back to the base that if I needed him as a witness that he would step forward and back me up. I reported it to the civilian police and went for a rape kit. They handed everything over to the Air Force without my consent.
The worse part of the whole event was how the Air Force treated me afterwards. You see the Airman that raped me was beloved by his unit. In the moths that passed I received threats from other Air Men and Women. My quad mates would write “Whore” and “Liar” and “Slut” on my door with permanent marker. My commanders wrote me up for underaged drinking from the night of my rape. The Air Force Phycologist that I spoke to shared the details of my rape and my personal trauma with my commanders who would throw the details in my face and call me a crazy slut. After 6 moths I was waiting for my paperwork to transfer me to another base. When my commander found out he kicked me out of the Air Force citing that I had adjustment disorder. It has taken me 10 years to finally work through the pain of this. I still have PTSD and have to work hard everyday just to get out of bed and live my life. I know that I will continue to fight to survive because when I stop fighting is when he wins all over again.
— Survivor, age 28