My junior year of high school I had class with this guy I had never seen around school before. It turns out he transferred from another school and as time passed he began dating one of my best friends. I had a crush on him but I obviously didn’t purse it.
We became friends and talked a lot in class. Eventually him and my friend broke up. And one day he text me asking if I wanted to hang out. I agreed and he came over to my house to watch a movie. He ended up pulling out a bottle of vodka. And of course I wanted him to think I was cool enough to hang out with so I was taking shots with him.
We began kissing and making out. But then he started trying to take off my pants. I remember telling him no. But he kept going. He pulled his pants off and put himself on top of me. I told him no again. I remember him saying things, giggling, maybe he thought I was playing around?
I told him no for a third time and then I felt him force himself inside me. I wanted to scream for help. But I was afraid of being seen like that. And I was afraid of getting into trouble for even having a guy in my room to begin with. After it was over he left. And I laid in bed and cried. I threw away all the clothes I had been wearing that night and I forced myself to forget that day. All I recall is the incident and that it was sometime in May of 2008. I was 17 years old.
And yes. My friend did end up finding out. But of course, I was slut shamed.
Sometimes I feel like I’m over it. But sometimes I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I remember.
— Christine, age 25
I’m sorry that that happened to you. None of that is okay at all and I’m so sorry you were slut shamed. Many people just do not understand unless they experience a situation like that for themselves and they don’t really want to believe that that person did that. I’m sorry he disrespected you and did what he wanted to do regardless of your wants and concerned. No one should have to go through that. That’s a very hard thing to get over but you just posting this story shows that you’re strong. Just know that no aspect of what happened to you was your fault. That was all his fault. Everything will be okay just remember you are not alone and you deserve all the best things in the world regardless of your past.
Dear Christina,
It takes a lot to share your story as you have. Sometimes the aftermath and the way others treat us is more difficult than the experience itself. What happened to you is not your fault and you did not deserve what happened or the slut shaming that occurred. Healing ebbs and flows, some days are good, some are not. That sick feeling is a reminder that you are human, that this happened to you, and that you are still here fighting. You are very brave. Light and love, Alissa