I was 16, a virgin and dating my boyfriend for a few months at this point. It was The late 80’s and there was a lot of alcohol and drug use in my life then. Although I “loved” my boyfriend I was not ready to have sex and he knew that. He would force me to give him oral sex by holding my head down and anything he did to me was very rough. He was my first serious boyfriend and I didn’t know any different.
One night he forced me to have sex with him. I felt ashamed and blamed myself because of the drug use even though at the back of my mind I felt it was wrong. I was saying no and telling him to stop…and panicking when I realized OH MY GOD he’s doing this.
After he was done, I asked him why and he shrugged and said “oh well too late now.” Date rape was not heard of back then. It was confusing because he was my boyfriend. And confusing because I stayed with him after. It wasn’t until a few years later in talking to my friend that she made me realize what happened was rape. Even then it was hard to accept as it wasn’t a stranger. I still have issues with sex. I still flash back to that night. But every day I try to do something that makes me a stronger person. And I find comfort knowing I’m not alone.
— Thank you, with gratitude, signed: Stronger Than Yesterday