My Brother

When I was 8, my brother was 11. We would be home by ourselves for a good 3-4 hours until my mother came home from work. I don’t even know how this whole thing began, but he made me do stuff. And when I say stuff I mean make me give him oral. And he would tell me not to tell our mother. Went along with it because at the time I didn’t see the big deal, and because he was my big brother so I didn’t want to disappoint him. One day though, he got to rough and had me against the wall with my underwear to the side. He put only started and then he pulled away and told me no. I became upset because I thought it was ok what we were doing, so I thought I did something wrong. I went into my room to put on my pajamas, and saw blood on my underwear. I didn’t know anything about periods or sex, so I panicked. I told my brother and he panicked also and called our mother at work. While she was on her way, he told me not to tell her what happened. She took me to the hospital, and kept asking if he did anything to me. I told her no because somehow I knew he’d get into trouble if I told her what happened. The doctors dismissed the bleeding as a early period. (I didn’t actually have my period until I was 12). Due to my relationship with my mother, I’ve never told her. I don’t know if my brother even remembers it, but something tells me he does. I’ve never told anyone other than my best friend.

— Mia, age 17