I was 19 and it was my second year in university. It was great, I lived in my new dorm with some really nice girls and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was December 19. I came out of an economics lecture and it was relatively late, it was probably around 5pm. Lots of people had dropped out and my class was small, I didn’t know anyone in that class and I liked to sit by myself. I took the same route I always took but I had to walk though a large group of friends who blocked the corridor. Later on when I was on my way home, I got to where the dorms was and went down the small alley way (I guess that’s what you called it) but it was wider and longer than you’d expect. I probably got a third way down and the next thing I know someone calls my name. I turned to see a rather tall and wide guy, probably my age. I had never seen him before and I was confused to how he knew my name. He walked over to me and said “you dropped your purse” pointing at the floor. That should have been a warning sign because my purse would have been deep within my handbag. I awkwardly laughed and thanked him before I lent over and tried to pick it up. I felt his knee hit where my diaphragm was and it winded me. I fell backwards and within no time he straddled on top of my 5″2 figure. The next 5 minutes were horrible, I couldn’t scream or fight back, either due to the pain or the shock. I wore a dress that day. He pulled my tights down and raped me. After he ran off, I recall just sitting there and crying. I dragged myself back to my dorm and cried for hours. Once I told my best friend a few hours after what happened, she took me to the police. We reported it and nothing happened. One of her guy friends found out who it was and reported him. It was a second year from my economics class, it turns out he stalked me and numerous girls. He was arrested but it took more than 5 years of me and my close ones filing reports.
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well 5 years is insane but you did thee right thing
Thank you so much for sharing your story here. What he did to you was not your fault – you can’t behave as though anyone telling you that you dropped your purse is going to hurt you. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I hope that your friends and family are being supportive as you navigate the healing process. It isn’t easy but I know you can do it. Sending you support and love! Alexis
My story is very similar. I don’t have the energy to write the whole ordeal down right now but may at a later time. I was also 19. In my case it happened when leaving a mall and was accosted. I was also too frozen to fight back. It’s what’s sometimes known as a “deer in the headlights” response and is why many people who are attacked don’t fight back, which is, unfortunately, used against them by many who don’t understand. Did I report it? I would have if someone had acknowledged that it had been a crime. Even my own mother,after i told her that same night, told me just a few days ago – and the attack occurred 16 years ago- that from what little I told her at the time she wasn’t sure if the rape was a crime or not (isn’t rape always a crime?)But no one would. When I went to get medical attention, they told me that I was stupid for letting it happen, stupid for showering (how was I supposed to know you shouldn’t? My mom told me that the first thing you SHOULD do was shower, so, not knowing anything about it, I listened) and that I probably wanted it since I was a virgin. Yes, people really said that…and the people who were supposed to be trained to be supportive at that.:(
Who said you were stupid for letting it happen and probably wanted it since I was a virgin? The nurses? And they used these exact words?!?
You are brave and courageous. Don’t let what happened to you ever make you feel less than what you are. Thank you for sharing your story.