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My Not So Happy Birthday

I have ADHD and dyslexia.. Too bad of a combination.. As what those people who did it to me would say who would believe me when I’m not normal

I was really hard to raise because well I’m not normal that’s why mom keeps hitting me..I could not forget it was the eve of my 7th birthday when all of my misfortunes was 7 or 8 in the evening I thought mom would fetch me from my grandfather’s house and I could go with her but instead she was just there to hit me. She hit me really hard that I could not stand then she left and this was the precious opportunity my grandfather waited. He was drunk and he started assaulting me and since I could not move because of what mom did I had nothing left to do than just endure it. He penetrated his to my mouth and my a** and he put the bottle he was holding inside mine. He told me it was the best way to celebrate one’s birthday because it will make a person happy but to me all it was was just pain and I was never happy

The abuse continued and he would even ask me to skip school just to do that.

Then on the eve of my 8th birthday he invited his friends 5 of them over to his house and so the 6 old men raped me taking turns then altogether until it was really late and I am already 8. After that rape my body felt addicted to it and my mind knows it’s wrong but I couldn’t contain it and sometimes I ask my grandfather to do it the more it hurts the more delightful

Now I’m 26. I already have a daughter. Her father is really loving and understanding. He really takes care of us. But there is this part of me that still I couldn’t understand. My grandfather and his friends are already dead but I’m still stuck in this memory. I still have nightmares about all the abuse especially when I have fever the nightmares turn worst. At times I’m scared to be with people and sometimes I would watch videos of tortured women just to alleviate the hurt I’m feeling which is bad. I wish it never really happened to me but as what they say everything happens for a reason and I hope someday I could finally understand the reason for everything that has happened to me.

— Survivor, age 26


  • Saf
  • Alissa Ackerman


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