A year ago, I was 34 at the time. I woke up to my brother on top of me with his penis in my vagina. As soon as I woke up, I jumped and tried to push him off of me. My 7 year old son was laying right next to me sleeping. I couldn’t make much of a noise or put up much of a fight because I didn’t want my son to wake up and see what was going on. I began to cry and pleading him to stop. But he wouldn’t. Instead he put both his hands around my neck choking me until I could hardly breathe. This lasted for what seemed like forever. Then he stopped and released my neck. I laid there paralyzed from fear. I thought it was over then all of a sudden I felt him ram me from behind. It hurted so much I pressed my nails deep in his arms trying so hard to get up. I was crying out of control, quietly begging him to take it out. He just kept going. He them shoved himself it in my mouth. He was holding my head tight forcing me to perform. All of a sudden I felt him release his self in my mouth. He just laughed, picked up his clothes and left my room. This trauma has set me so far back. I can’t get that night out of my head. I find myself constantly thinking about suicide because I can’t get the shame and embarrassment out of my head. I never told anyone what happened and this secret is taking a toll of my life. Not sure if I’ll ever recover.