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My Story

Hi all. This is my personal story. It’s taken me awhile to share it out in the open like this, but I believe it’s the next step in my healing. Ive read lots of your stories and it helps to know I’m not alone in the way I feel. I’ve told a handful of close friends and my counsellors but that’s it. I don’t think I can ever tell my family. It happened 2 years ago. One week before Christmas 2014. The holidays had always been a rough time of year for me…I grew up with an abusive alcoholic for a father. At this time I was 21, working 3 jobs, and walking home late one night form my 2nd job. I’d go from working as an aid at an elementary school during the day, to a daycare that I closed at 10pm during the week. I walked home because around that time I was having a rough time financially so some weeks I didn’t have electricity, some weeks it was gas I didn’t have in my car. I had closed and walked home many nights before. This particular night it was a Texas winter…freezing and stormy and I didn’t have much of a jacket or an umbrella because that morning while walking to my first job, being Texas, it was sunny and hot. Next thing I knew a truck pulled up beside me and asked if I needed ride. It was 10:30 at night. I never would have accepted. But I was cold, wet, and exhausted. I peeked in the window and saw a toddler in a car seat in the back seat. I accepted and got in. Before I even got my seatbelt on…so I didn’t yet tell him which way to go, he sped off and pulled behind a deserted gas station that I never even knew was there. And in one swift move he parked, locked the door, and moved across the seat and was on top of me. I was too shocked to process what was going on so I honestly just sat there, without saying a word, and willed myself to go numb. I never said no or stop. Now, 2 yrs later, I know that not saying no does not mean yes. After the incident he unlocked his truck and literally pushed me out and sped off. And I still had to walk home cold, wet, exhausted, and now violated. It’s been a long 2 years of hating myself for ever getting in that truck. I’ve had a counselor and wonderful friends that have told me over and over again(and I’ve recently started to believe it) “look at that night…it was freezing and raining. You didn’t have a jacket or umbrella. There was a toddler in the backseat. Anyone would’ve accepted that offer. And not saying no doesn’t mean yes!” I am healing—and I’ve come along way—but I still have a ways to go. Reading stories on here have been very helpful. Now I’m ready to be bold and share my story,…even if it is anonymous. Thank you for this site

2 comments

  • Carolyn Rijo
  • Alexis

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