This started when I was 14 with a guy I’ve known most my life. We went to elementary school together, I was in 1st grade and he was in 2nd. He’s a year older than me. We are now 17 and 18. We were only friends, not anymore. I won’t classify my story as rape because what happened to me was more sexual harassment. There was not penetration, only attempts.
We used to be super close, we’d hang out a lot we’d text everything. There was no attraction in any way on my behalf.
However when I turned fourteen he made his first attempt. He invited me over to hang out. I went over and I was calm, we’ve hung out many times however I can’t recall a time when we were alone. He told me not to bring my sister, we were all friends. So I showed up and we normally played video games or when we were kids we’d wrestle. He asked me, “what do you want to do?’ I told him that I didn’t care, we could play video games like usual.” But he had other plans, he suggested we wrestle.
I looked at him funny of course thinking we are too old, it’d be weird. Me having developed breast and him being a hormonal teenage boy I didn’t think it’d be the greatest idea. I said “nah” however he decided to play around and made it seem like a joke and he tackled me. I told him to get off and tried to push him off of me however he pinned my arms. I struggled but he wouldn’t let me up and I could see in his eyes he was no longer playing. I looked at him seriously and told him to knock it off but he still didn’t. I started struggling but he was stronger than me and had leverage. He laid down on my chest making sure to rest his head in my breast. Then he wouldn’t let me leave. Every time I tried to leave he’d pin me down. After I finally left he messaged me. Talking about how hot I am and sexy.
This happened 2 more times each progressing. He always made sure his parents weren’t home, I should of took that as a sign. He grabbed my breast, slapped my ass. Would slide his hands under my shirt. I stopped talking to him for a good year and said don’t talk to me until you have learned to control yourself. I thought that since he was apart of ROTC and planned on going into the military he should have some control of himself. Some self discipline. That was when I was 15.
He messaged me when I was 16. I made sure we hung out in a public place, there’s a park down from our house…we are neighbors through all of this and still are. So anyways he drove to the park cause he’s weird and then had asked if we could go somewhere else public because there was too many kids. We drove to a light rail station near us and chilled in the parking lot. Everything was pretty calm. He wanted me to get in the back seat however I refused. We talked and it was decent. So the next day we had planned to hang out at the same place. I was naive enough to think he changed, how wrong i was. He picked me up from my house and drove us to the station.
He got in the back and stole my phone. He figured out my password and was going through my pictures. Keep in mind I was and am currently in a relationship so I have things on my phone the guy did not need nor deserve to see. He told me he’d give me my phone back if I got in the back seat so I did. He still didn’t give it back so I had to reach over him to get it and that’s when he struck. He leaned in and tried to kiss me. I pulled back and swiped my phone from him. He pinned me down in the backseat and continued trying to kiss me but I turned me head so he continued down to my neck. He tired to slide his hand under my shirt and grope at me even tried to unbutton my pants. He’d slide his hands in between my legs and rub. He tried to keep kissing me and feeling me up and I kept telling him to get off of me and to leave me alone. Telling him I had a boyfriend even though he’s known since I was 15. He wouldn’t stop until I shoved him as hard as I could and used my legs to kick him off me. I told him to drive me home immediately. I never spoke to him again accept to tell him never to talk to me.
I am now 17 and he is 18. I still see him to this day but I no longer look at him or talk to him. And my boyfriend knows all of this and has been there for me.
I was not raped thankfully and I’m sorry to those who have been. I was harassed and that was a painful experience in itself. I thought I could trust him since he was my childhood friend. And I was naïve enough to believe he changed. It is not your fault.
— Sabrina, age 17