I am a 48 year old man and had few memories of my childhood until about 2 years ago. I was having an extremely stressful time going on in my life at the time and it must have reminded me of that same feeling when I was about 6-7. I remember going over to our neighbor lady’s house and playing board games. Things seemed to be fine until this lady wanted to change the game. She wanted me to dress up in a dress and panties. I still don’t know why I did this but I didn’t see any harm. So she had me sit on her lap and she reached up under the dress and fondled me. It scared me because no one had touched me there before.
Since I recovered these memories I have had recurring nightmares about the abuse and also flashbacks. I can’t tell anyone because it is so embarrassing, but I needed to get this off my chest. I have felt so alone. It feels good to let it out.
— Dan, age 48
Dan – I am so grateful to you for posting this. I hope getting it off your chest gave you some relief. You are absolutely not alone and I am honored to have read your story. As for “why you did it” – you did nothing wrong. Your neighbor was the grown up and she is the one who did the wrong thing. Nightmares and flashbacks are often signs of PTSD. I would encourage you to talk to a counselor. I know it can be embarrassing to talk about but I assure you that you are not alone and – sadly – counselors have heard these stories too many times. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are on my mind. Alexis