Never Ending

It started back when I was in the 7th grade. I felt as if I was always being watched. I was. An older boy was always somewhere near me staring. I never thought of myself as attractive and I wasn’t interested in dating yet. Nothing major happened until the next year. He started getting closer and messaging me. Since he lived down the road we rode the same bus. It was always us to as the last 2 off… He starting sitting by me and I let him because I knew he wasn’t all there (mentally) I felt bad that he had only a few friends. I then asked to touch me in way I wasn’t ready for. I said no but that was not the answer he would accept. He is a whole foot taller and a lot stronger so I had no choice. Mind you the school bus driver didn’t even notice. Things happened every single day. I told my friends soon after and they just thought ya thats weird. He only touched me on the bus and never went further. I tried telling my mom back when it started but I couldn’t. My words failed to even come out. He then started messaging me more and more. I would ignore him for a month but it got worse the more I ignored. If I would tell him to stop he would only send one a day. He kept trying to force us to date and begged me to some over to his house. Finally he went to the high school but the bus was never good. Things continued for a while before I asked the bus driver if he could get an assigned seat away from me but she gave me one instead. I had been changing seats and hiding by tucking up my feet and hiding my head from his view but he always found me. Now he sat behind me everyday to stare. I mean literally hard core stare. This stuff only happened when there was few to no people on but us. High school only got worse. Now my locker was next to his. He did force us to be friends at one point telling others about it. They only edged him on. He would tell me how nice my butt looked and asked to touch it and tried several times. He started following me in the halls. I finally changed into my friends sister who graduated half year. He then constantly asked for my new locker and combination. I had to change everything about my school life. When I went to the bathroom, what halls I took at certain times. Even when I took up my food tray or got my food. He was always right there. I couldn’t take anymore this year. He was in my gym class. I had to tell someone. I finally told my teacher, parents, and counselor. I had to stay in the class but luckily got a new locker. The only real thing they could do was prevent his emails through the school. Since he didn’t actually… get inside me nothing could be done. That week was the worse week of my life. I had to tell everything but I left out one thing. How it affected me. I told them I was fine but scared. I cant even stand being around any guy alone anymore. I don’t like parties, weddings, or even sitting next to one. I have nightmares, and the only thing I think abut everyday is there someone behind me, what are their intentions. I have a much harder time with concentration in school worrying about guys behind me. I just had to tell my story even if it wasn’t true tape. I… cant stand being alone with them anymore…

— Survivor, age 16