I was 16 I had just left school ready to start college i met up with friend Emma in Guildford town for shopping where she saw some guy friends of hers. I didn’t know them and never met them. We went to the castle it was a nice day we sat outside in the gardens. One of them called Aaron said let’s go for a walk. He seemed ok. He said he knows a place with good view of Guildford. He took me to a building that was shut waiting to be bulldozed down there were sleeping bags were squatters were staying but none was around he took me to the roof. It was isolated. He raped me. I asked him to stop but he didn’t. I was a virgin. He just kept saying let me finish. After I was bleeding. I was bruised. I didn’t tell anyone got on a bus and walked home. I was disgusted with myself. What did I do did I lead him on? I know now I did nothing wrong this happened 15 years ago. I’m now 31 and I am never over it. I did tell the police when I was 17 as I was self harming. I got sectioned by them and I told them when they were in the car taking me to the hospital but it’s like they weren’t listening. It’s hard to speak out I’ve never ever told my family my friends. Even now it’s hard.
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You are so brave for sharing your story with Brave Miss World. I am glad that you have come to the realization that what happened to you is not your fault and that you did nothing wrong. I believe that silence is part of what makes the aftermath of rape so hard to deal with. So I hope that by sharing your story here it helps take some of the weight and pain off your shoulders. Healing from rape can take a very long time, but I promise you that healing is possible. It gets easier, especially after ending years of silence. Telling people can be really hard and it is important that, if you do choose to tell people, that you do it in your own time. Be patient with yourself – it is a very long process. You’ve got this and you are not alone. We are all here with you.
It’s hard when it’s not the only time I managed to get away on another occasion I have serious trust issues GEM