I was raped at night off of a community center walkway. It’s 2 minutes from my house, and a pretty well-lit area near the road, but has dense trees. Not to be naive, but I feel like I just never thought something like that could happen to me. I just felt numb afterward. It’s been 4 1/2 months, and no one knows. I am married with a baby on the way. A baby who could be my rapist’s, OR my husband’s. It was too close of a time to tell. I think the worst part is worrying that no one would believe me even if I told them. And I don’t hate myself, I just feel sorry for people that are low enough to do that to another human being. It’s hard to cope with the fact that I can’t tell my husband in fear that he will think I cheated on him!! Then I just think, what if he sends a paternity test, I don’t even know what nationality the rapist was. I feel I needed to voice my fears with other people who might relate or who could give advice. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
— Survivor, age 27
I think its best if you tell him now rather than wait till the babys born. Cuz once the baby is born itll only make it worse. If you wait till then or dont say anything at all you might lose his trust. Plus who knows the baby might be your husbands but even if it is youll still have to tell him or someone you trust. It might help you sleep better at night or chsse the nightmare away if you do tell someone. If it turns out to be the rapeist baby dont worry Just Rember Its not ypur fsult, you couldnt avoid, stop, or control it. Good luck and lots of love 😘❤
You’re not naive at all. I thought the same thing as you, right after it happened I couldn’t believe it. I thought that it could never happen to me. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to speak up. If not to the authorities, then at least your husband. If he is even half the man you married, he will understand and will be there for you through everything. I know it’s hard to speak up. Unimaginably difficult. I was raped by a Marine Sergeant about 3 months ago. After it happened, he told me not to say anything and I didn’t. At least, for almost a month after. I blamed myself at first. Even though I had said no and pushed him away, he didn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t know what other people would think. I was afraid they wouldn’t believe me. They wouldn’t believe a man of this rank, or the honor he stands for, could do something like this. I couldn’t take it anymore, I finally told my friends, then my parents, and the police. They were all very supportive and nonetheless heartbroken that this happened to me. There are still times when I feel like it was my fault, even though it is never the victims fault. I don’t regret speaking up. He didn’t use protection and I was afraid I was pregnant. People will support you, we are all here for you. Your husband will be beside you and help you. This awful thing happened to you and you don’t deserve to let it go unpunished or untold. All my prayers go out to you. Stay strong.