I was in my junior year of high school, and had been hanging around older kids, drinking, and doing drugs. I felt as if my town had gotten to be so boring, that if I wasn’t taking some kind of risk, I wasn’t alive.
My friend Shelly and I went to a party a few streets down from my house. I recognized few people, including a guy named Tim who was older and more popular than myself, and this kid Tony who used to be on my bus. I pitted Tony, he was fat and quiet. I made extra effort to be friendly toward him, because no one else was.
I became intoxicated far too quickly, and I was told that Tim kept rubbing my leg in a sexual manner as I was passed out on the couch. So, my friends moved me to a back room where they thought I would be left alone.
Soon after, Tim snuck into the room and began to lift up my skirt and pull down my stockings and underwear. He attempted to perform a sexual act, but I pushed him off and managed to crawl out of the room. I was so drunk that I couldn’t even stand.
Seeing me coming out of the room on my hands and knees, and Tim chasing after me, my friends moved me into a different room that had another girl passed out in it. They thought that no one would try anything if I was laying right next to someone else.
I fell back asleep, and woke up to the sensation of a very large body laying over me, putting its weight on me, holding me down. I managed to open my eyes, and it was Tony. Why would he do that to me? I was the only one who was nice to him.
I tried to scream and move, but I was so drunk that all I could do was cry as he sexually assaulted me. He had every intention of raping me, but someone heard my cries and stopped him.
Shelly comforted me that night, as I cried in her arms. However, the next day she told everyone at school about what had happened, and said that I wanted it. She told them that because I was nice to him, I didn’t scream, and didn’t fight him off harder, that I was letting it happen, and if I said anything else, I was doing it for attention.
People believed her, and I was too ashamed to argue my own side of the story. And because everyone believed her, I felt as if I didn’t have any power, and that no one would believe me if I tried to press chargers.
I still struggle with this assault. I’ve seen Tony since, and began laughing aloud when he saw me, because he knows he got away with it. The whole experience makes me feel so sick.