Not a safe place after all

The second weekend of moving back to the city I finished my undergraduate degree I decided to go to my best friend’s house, without the knowledge that soon there would be a few people joining us and drinks involved. I wasn’t a drinker but that night I was upset about seeing an ex-boyfriend and gave in. The three guys that joined mine and my friends company were friends of hers. We began a drinking game and one of the guys were persistent on making sure I was the person who was picked to drink the most. I felt myself becoming highly incapacitated and light headed by the drinks and decided to leave the game and lie down. The moments after that felt blurry and like I was half awake and half unconscious. The vision and hearing kept going in and out. I could feel the same guy who wanted me drunk lying beside me touching me all over as I laid there on the couch confused and helpless. He invaded me and my cries of no seemed empty to his intentions. With the small amount of control of my body I had in the moment I managed to unsteadily wiggle myself on to the floor and that’s when she came. My friend came but the damage had already been done. She laid me in the next room and motionless I remember saying over and over “don’t let him come here don’t let him come here”. I thought I was in a safe place that night but I was wrong. And that guy that night broke a part of me I haven’t been able to rebuild. One day maybe I will but that night continues to haunt my thoughts. I believe through God I will be healed someday.