I was drinking pretty hard for a couple weeks straight, and drugs on and off, this is before I started treatment for bipolar disorder. I was very hypersexual. I came on to a longtime friend of mine, who habitually used me for money, etc anyway. Later I told him, we shouldn’t have done that. He kept persisting after that and pressuring me, especially when I was drunk. A couple times he went ahead and did it anyway when I was too messed up to move, even when I said no. He made me feel guilty for “leading him on”, to the point where I still felt guilty even after I sobered up and got treatment and got a boyfriend. He hasn’t tried to touch me since then, but needed someone to fill an apartment in a building he lives in and, once again, pressured me. Now I am stuck living here, finally coming to terms with the fact that he wronged me. In so many ways. I can hear his voice thru the wall as I type this and I want to scream. I’m leaving soon, I hope, but this is torture. Beware of any friend who profits from your sadness, they are the scum of the earth.
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Thank you for posting here. What he did to you is not your fault. It doesn’t matter if you came on to him, even if you’d been sober! You never gave him consent. Even if you had given consent, it can be revoked at any time, so when you said no – that’s enough to make what he did wrong. You are absolutely not to blame for what he did. And I’m so sorry that he’s living next to you and hope that you are able to move out very soon. I’m really proud of you for seeking out treatment and I would encourage you to talk to a therapist to address the guilt you’re feeling. What happened WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.