I was 19 years old, in the military and in Korea. I had an on and off again fling with a co worker and ended up getting pregnant and miscarried. People found out and we sort of had a party to get everyone’s minds off. There was drinking and games and a lot of people coming thru the room of the barracks. One of the the Ncos was being too friendly and touchy throughout the night and I guess I didn’t notice too much until after. We get into a drinking competition and I chug a bottle of Jaeger. I start feeling dizzy and whatnot and he starts to ask me about my life. I get all emotional and continue drinking. Meanwhile, this man is taking sips at a time… well anyway he asks me to get cups and whatnot out his room. I got and he shuts the door. I start to panic and all the alcohol had left my body. He tells me I’ll get in trouble for being with a senior sergeant alone and I had been in trouble before so I didn’t want that. He backs me up on the table and kisses me and grabs me throws me on the bed and rips my clothes off. He takes his shorts off and that’s when it happened. I locked up completely. I stared into space and I couldn’t say a word. Finally, someone found me and I ran out … never told anyone “officially” never filed a report and the scumbag is still in the military.
— Mari
Dear Mari – thank you so much for sharing your story here. First of all I want to say that what happened is NOT your fault. If you read through the other stories on this site, you’ll see how common freezing up is during sexual assault but that doesn’t matter – it’s still not your fault.
I understand not reporting or “officially” telling anyone and of there is absolutely no judgement. I do hope that you are seeking out support for yourself. Through friends or a family member or a therapist? Talking to someone – or multiple someones – will help you heal and move forward. You are so strong and I know you can do this.
I’m really proud of you for sharing your story here and sending you love and strength!! Alexis
Dear Mari your a survivor but u must report this official or at the very least make his name known he obviously abuses his position. I pray to god other women do not fall prey to him too. An anonymous letter to senior officials may start an investigation into him whilst you remain anonymous. The military tale this seriously now.