It was November 30, 2013. I was a freshman in Memphis, TN. I was was 15 years old and a virgin. I had just finished spending the day with my cousin. They came down to visit from Chicago for Thanksgiving. I was going over to my friends house later that night to help her set up for a party that she invited me too. It was her 18th birthday in a couple of days. My mom dropped me off and we got started. About 2 hours later people started to show up. I recognized some people that went to school with us. I had 2 beers and a couple of shots of Fireball. After a while a bunch of us went upstairs, shared a joint, and played spin the bottle. I ended up kissing her cousin 3 times. Around 1:30 or 2:00 in the morning the party was dying down, she asked me if I could stay the night and help her clean up the next day. I said yes because I knew that her mom was gonna be in Mexico for a while and it was just her and her brother. He was 21 at the time and I figured they could use the extra help. I called my mom to see if it was OK and she said sure. My friend gave some sweatpants I could change into so that I could go to sleep. I figured her brothers friend and their cousin had left. Her brother went to bed with his boyfriend. She had a single bed so it wouldn’t fit both of us. She slept in her bed and I slept on the floor with a blanket and a pillow. About 30 minutes later, her cousin came in, got under the blanket with me, grabbed me around the waist, and pulled me across the floor towards him and wouldn’t let go. He then proceeded to pull down and pants, take of his, and rape me. I tried to push him away and he just rolled me over on my back, got on top of me, put one hand over my mouth and told me to calm down. After that he just held me really tight around the stomach. I started to feel really heavy and didn’t move. I just laid there trying to go to sleep, hoping that when I woke up it would all just be a night mare. A few minutes after he laid there holding me, my friend woke up and they talked for a while as he put his hand inside of me and started kissing my neck. I just prayed that she would come over and came him stop instead she just talked to him some more, rolled over and went back to sleep. It took a year and a half to tell someone. Back in September of 2015, I finally told my best friend hoping that she would just give me the support that I was looking for. Instead I was met with the phrase, “No you weren’t and you’re a lair.” After that I thought that I shouldn’t ever tell anyone again. I realized that not everyone was as cruel as her and I told my parents recently. They just hugged me and told me to go to bed. We don’t talk about it to this day. I started to wonder how much more I could take but once I saw Brave Miss World then I knew that things will better. The next person I tell will be someone that will support me no matter what and will be someone that deserves to know me enough so that I will tell them. I have learned to deal and am currently trying to cope day by day.
— Kayla Wilburn, age 18
Kayla, I hope you can find peace and comfort in God. Don’t let this drag you to a dark place, be patient and when the time is right, you will be free again.
Kayla,
I was raped by a “beloved” coach and when I told girls on my team what had happened. They called me a liar, slut, and attention seeker. I hated myself. But they were wrong. They didn’t know. The only people that understand are girls like us. I made new friends, true friends who hated my offender just as much as me. It will all be okay one day.
It was never your fault, nor will it ever be. If you need any support, we are all here for you. You are not alone, I encourage you to seek help with a trusted counselor, teacher, or neighbor even. I also encourage you to report it to the police and press charges so he can’t rape anyone else.
Kayla,
never let this drag you away from light and your future. Never worry God is in control and he will help and see you through.
I remember a friend told me her rape story. It was one of our teachers and not just that a teacher I really liked and respected. I couldn’t really believe what I was hearing but I still took it to the school head. The teacher was questioned by the police and found guilty and has been sent to prison. No matter how hard that story was to believe I still did something about it. I’m glad a place like this exist where victims can share their story and get advice from people who know what they’re going through. I can’t imagine what I would do if I was raped. I’m a boy but it could still happen. I would only hope that my friends trusted me enough to do something about it. Anyone who wouldn’t do anything are sick human beings and are not your friends
Alex, when I read your comment I finally felt something that I didn’t think was possible….forgiveness. I forgive my friend, she has to be the one to deal with the fact that she could never be trusted not me. I feel like I can finally move on, even if its just a little bit. Also, I want to thank you for helping and supporting your friend, I know how hard it probably was going up against a teacher like that, but I think I can speak for many people when I say this, Thank You!!!!!
Update: I recently was contacted through a friend request on Facebook by the girl that threw this party. I didn’t accept it but I’m not sure what to really do. I want to scream at her because she obviously doesn’t think that anything wrong happened but I can’t bring myself to do that.