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One Morning

My friend introduced me to this guy. I knew him by sight, and he knew me. After a couple of dates he told me he had loved me from a distance for a long time. Our relationship wasn’t sexual, until one morning. Even though my instincts were telling me to go home, I stayed over at his house. We watched a crappy movie and fell asleep. I woke up to movement in the bed next to me. He had woken up and in one movement rolled towards me and on top of me. Any move I made seemed to make it easier for him and shortly after he rolled off me, saying, “I can’t help it, that’s what you make me want to do.”

I was in shock. I didn’t talk or dress provocatively and he seemed to have a gentle and honest nature. We didn’t talk about it and I didn’t talk about it to anyone else. I didn’t see him again for a long time – I found out the same day he had met somebody else. I fell pregnant from this incident but didn’t keep it. I still concern myself with thoughts of being controlled or misrepresented and find myself trying not to be overtly sexual. I am still struggling to reclaim my body but I feel I am winning the battle. And I ALWAYS trust my instincts.

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