I was sexually assaulted almost 3 years ago by a total stranger. I was 16 years old, and I had recently had sex for the first time, with my boyfriend at the time. I’m a quiet person, I never talked much to people I didn’t know and I come off as shy to people. I was in a way pretty innocent looking. And I guess because I looked helpless one night at around 10:30 pm, walking alone down a dirt road no one was on, a random guy decided to use me. I was supposed to be with my boyfriend watching fireworks but we got into a fight so I ended up trying to find my way home by myself. I do not know how old this man was but he couldn’t have been older than 25. He had short brown hair, he was caucasian and wore all black. But that is the extent of what I know. He beat me until I cooperated slightly. I was bruised all over my thighs and back. My arms were battered and my neck had scratches all over. I did my best to fight him off the entire time he attacked but it got to a point where I was jut so tired, shocked and scared that I couldn’t act on what my brain was telling my body to do. When it was all over, I was left in the tree line down the dirt path. I was so shocked that I just lay there for 10 minutes until I got up and continued on my way back home. I stopped at a store to get fixed up before I got home just incase I saw my parents before I went in the shower. I didn’t tell anyone what had happened to me for 2 full years. I was scared that my parents would blame me or that they wouldn’t believe me. I was scared to get in trouble and ultimately I just thought I would be able to forget about it. I didn’t really feel affected by it right away. I tried my best to make myself think that it was just a bad dream and that it didn’t really happen. But a couple months past and I found myself having flashbacks and vivid nightmares of what had happened to me. My grades started going down and school seemed less and less interesting. Life seemed less and less interesting. I hid all this from my parents. I skipped classes as much as I could. I barely passed high school. But I was glad to leave. I met a guy who had been through hell and back and he ended up being the first person I had ever told about what had happened to me. I had to tell him because what had happened to me 2 years back at the time was affecting the way I was able to love someone else. He supported me through it all and he got me the help I needed to get through this. I am not 100 percent back to my normal self and I don’t thinkI ever will be but I know that I now have a great support system behind me and an entire family to help me every step of the way. I was a victim but now I am a survivor.
— Christina, age 18
Dear Christina – I am so glad you found someone to tell who was supportive. I know 3 years seems like a long time, but when you are holding it inside, healing can be so hard. Reading that you have a support system and your family gives me hope and is a great example that even when it feels like people won’t be supportive, they can really be incredible. I’m so proud of you for posting your story here. Keep going down the path of healing. I’m so proud of you and you can do this and deserve to heal! Love, Alexis
I can’t say that I know exactly what you’re going through – that wouldn’t be fair, because I’ve never had that experience. But just know that I care and feel for you.
I know how u feel I went through something similar someone used me because he thought I was easy. we started off as good friends because we lived in a care home together so it started with us kissing and it kind of turned into us sleeping together. I was alright the first time but when he wanted to do it again and I said no he didn’t like that. so I said I’m going to tell the staff and which I did and he was moved but just before he moved he said to me. I have left something upstairs for u and I said what was it and he said it was a surprise. so when he left I went upstairs to find he had started a fire in his old room. so I can’t say I was raped but I did feel used after that and it was not good. I stopped showering and stopped eating didn’t give a shit about my life and kind of locked myself away from the world. Now I have has some time I’m starting to get my life back on track but I still don’t feel like I could sleep with anyone soon because I’m not sure what will happen after. we did so hold in there ur doing great.
Am proud to hear you say you are a survivor not a victim