I was about 16 the first time it happened. I didn’t know the guy, but my mom was dating him so I thought I could trust him. The first time we met, he wanted to see my backside in the swimsuit I was wearing to go to the pool at the hotel we were staying at. After that happened, we went on a ride in his car to go get food. He forced his hand down the front of my pants and he fingered me. I was super uncomfortable but he didn’t stop. It didn’t get extremely serious until the next time we went to see him. While my mom was not in the room with us, he put his hand over my mouth, pulled my pajama pants down, and forced himself inside me. I had never experienced such bad pain in my life. He raped me several times after that day. But then my mom found someone new and I was hoping things would get better. They didn’t. The next boyfriend my mom got threatened to make my boyfriend break up with me if I didn’t allow him to touch me and do things to me. I had to agree but it was in no way consensual. I did not want to have sexual encounters with a man who was almost 30 years older than me. He forced me down on the bed and fingered me. He kept going until I could barely feel down there. The next day I hurt so bad that I could barely walk. This was the second time he had done this to me, but this was the time it was in his and my mother’s bed. The first time was in a cat barn.
— Survivor, age 17
Dear survivor – thank you so much for posting your story here. I want you to know that you are not alone and what happened to you is NOT your fault. I would encourage you to talk to someone who you trust and think may be able to support you – a therapist or a family member or a friend you can trust. Carrying all of that by yourself must be so hard and having love and support is so important in helping you get through it. I’ll be thinking of you and sending you lots of love!! Alexis