Rape and Not Believed

The second time I was raped was last year on my birthday and I was 14 years old. The morning of my birthday I went down stairs to see a note saying that my dad and brother were out and my mum and my sister were too. The day proceeded with a few texts from my parents saying they wouldn’t be home until after dinner. They finally came back and went to bed and I was so upset that in the frustration of it all I ran away and went to a party a couple of villages away, my friend gave me some marijuana and I was so mad at my parents I just did it. When I was walking home after the party I realized that there was a man maybe early 50’s was following me so I started running and so did he and then he caught me and well he raped me.

Later on in the week I was so upset and confused and angry I got into a little fight with my friend and I ended up spreading some really nasty rumors about her. I got suspended and had to see a counsellor, I ended up telling her what had happened because I trusted her. She ended up telling the school, my parents and I was told by my deputy “you can’t make such disgusting accusations like this just to get out of being in trouble” stuff like that and no one actually asked me if they were true. I ended up going to the police myself and was told that I didn’t have any evidence and that if I falsely accused someone of rape again there would be consequences.

I was very young the first time I was raped and I didn’t understand so I found it a lot easier to hide and deal with. But this time I have major terrifying flashbacks and dreams about that night and I hate myself so much. They are getting unbearable army birthday Is in a couple of days. Not so sure how much I’m going to be able to cope with.

— Ellie, age 14