I’ve been raped three times twice when inebriated. The worst that I keep reliving was my neighbor who coerced me into it. It happened in my house and I’ve just put a word to what he’s been doing terrorizing me. Yesterday the banging was so loud and scary it scared my dog and I’m scared to go out. After a short conversation with a person on app he answered “you’re scared of men” and I think he could be right. Everywhere I go in this small town sometimes I’m scared by women, sometimes men, and I react and call them freak and stared at. I feel so vulnerable. I think he told people things about me. I’ve been stared at by groups of men that become gangs of twenty. I’m thinking of paying for therapy although can’t afford it but a little worried as it’s a man counsellor.
— Survivor, age 48
Dear survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. What you’re feeling – being scared and feeling vulnerable – are normal after being raped. I think your instinct to go to therapy is probably a good one. I know if can be really hard to trust anyone – let alone a man – but it might be worth a shot. Most good therapists will do whatever you need to feel comfortable. You can also talk to him about working with you financially – sometimes they will help you work out a payment plan that works with your finances. I know it takes a lot of strength and courage, but you are worth it and I believe in you!! Love, Alexis