I was raped a week before I was almost raped by my neighbor. I was inebriated and hurt physically. My neighbor who sexually assaulted me is harassing me. It would have been rape had I not had the presence of mind I had. I reported it to the police but they did nothing. Since the neighbor slams doors a lot and twice when I’ve been to the toilet I’ve heard him outside the back making sexual comments. My weight has ballooned and I feel like I’m going crazy. I cry sometimes but mostly drink and struggle with my appetite. I’m almost a hermit. I try and then I guess it keeps getting to me. I get stared at around the small town I live in. I’ve been out with my dog a few weeks ago and a woman was shouting and there were three men staring and two gangs. The neighbor has also banged hard outside the front three times when I’ve gone out my door. He tried talking to me one day and I kept walking I’d like to be there for others but fee l like I’m losing myself.
— Survivor, age 48
don’t you worry about being there for other you worry about taking care of yourself. It seems like you are not in a very safe place. Do you have any family you can stay with? Have you tried contact the authorities? It makes me very nervous thinking you are in that unsafe environment and you should do whatever it takes to make you safe. Just know that you’re a good person and no one deserves to be treated how you are. Not everyone is like those people I promise. Please be safe and I’m so sorry that you’ve been through so much. !75 you are strong and brave and please please just be safe and do what you can.
Dear Survivor – thank you so much for sharing your story here. You’re right – it’s SO hard to be there for others when you feel like you’re losing yourself. I understand if you are afraid to go out – maybe you could try calling a crisis hotline for someone to talk to? I know it’s not quite the same as having someone in person, but at least getting some of the emotions out. Just know that you are strong enough to get through this – even if you feel like you are going crazy. That makes so much sense to me. But you can do this – I believe in you!!!