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Raped By Boyfriend

Hello, to whoever is reading this. This is the second time I’ve ever told anyone about what happened to me, but my friend has persuaded me to talk about it.

I was 14 at the time, (a year ago) and I was going out with first boyfriend (who was 17.) I was worried about dating an older boy, but he was my best friend’s cousin, who said he was a nice guy. And he was for the first 3 months.

It happened when I was around his house for a date one night. We were in the middle of kissing, when he grabbed my hips and slammed me against the wall. Stupidly I thought it was an accident, and didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I didn’t say anything.

Then he started to touch me, that’s when I started to fell uncomfortable. So I gently reminded him that I was 14 and not ready yet for that type of relationship. “Oh yeah, sorry,” is what he replied.

I stupidly went back to kissing him, when his hands lowered down again. I told him to stop. He then asked “You love me right?” At the time I did, so I replied yes. He then tied my hands behind my back with some cloth that was laid nearby. Again I told him to stop. Next he started to undress me and I protested again.

He smiled at this, then out of his pockets he pulled out a blade. He then told me that he would stab me if I didn’t go along with it. I then stood their paralyzed with fear as he continued. Later he took out his phone and took pictures of me naked. After that he raped me. At first I didn’t know what he was doing, because before the incident I was virgin. I remember it being so painful that after I was bleeding.

When he was finished he untied me… I was about to call the police when he said that he’d upload the photos he took onto social media. So I stayed quiet. At least once a week he would do the same to me, when he told me to go over.

After two months after the incident, he had to move town with his parents. I was so happy until I realized I still couldn’t tell anyone, and if I did they probably wouldn’t believe me.

Finally my friend got me to tell him what happened, and why I was acting differently. He still wants me to tell the police what happened, but they probably won’t believe me. I feel a bit better now I’ve finally told people, but it still won’t take away the feeling that what happened was my fault. Because I didn’t put up enough of a fight at the beginning or even notice the warning signs.

Anyway.. Thanks for hearing me out!

~ Astrid

1 comment

  • Alissa Ackerman

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