I was about 12/13 years old when I was raped by my brother. In my memory it happened often during approx. 1 year. He warned me not to talk about it with my mom. When we went on a family holiday, my eldest brother did not come. Usually they would be together in a room and I would sleep with my parents. This vacation I was with him in a room. I never did talk about it and blocked it. When I was about 16, my brother became mentally ill.
He was hospitalized and told my mother that he could understand I never should visit, and told her the story. She felt so guilty. But I was angry he told her, because now it was there again.
Long story short, my brother, who was brilliant smart, good in all sports, funny etc., committed suicide at the age of 23. All not easy. But, still tried to block it. I even do not remember what I told my ex-husband about it. We were together for over 26 years, before we divorced 3 years ago.
Earlier last year I was on a date with a guy, we did not match. But one way or the other he opened the box. For the first time I told some very very close people about it. Who were shocked I never talked about it.
My ex husband said to me to watch your documentary, so obvious he knows. And now writing my story here is a big thing for me. You all are amazing!