I just watched Brave Miss World and i was very touched by it.
I am a survivor. I was raped 3 years ago by someone i loved very much. Besides raping me, he also was very abusive, telling me that i would never find someone like him, that treated me as well as he did. He always made me feel that i wasn’t enough for him, that’s why he never assumed me as a firm relationship.
Those things made me his slave. I loved him very much and i would do anything to make him love back. So, when he raped me i said no but i wasn’t able to react or protect myself. I was just paralyzed.
It took me so long to realize that i was raped, but i couldn’t tell anyone about it because i was afraid that no one would listen to me (he was very popular among my friends).
I was afraid that everyone would blame me, because i should be strong and not accept this situation. That i fell on this hole because i wanted. That’s why i never reported it.
Today i do therapy with a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I also managed to tell some friends about what happened to me, including my current boyfriend. He is my biggest supporter! I’m so happy of being in a healthy relationship. We are so much in love!
Today i am stronger and i would like to help other girls like me. I would like to be an activist but i don’t know how to start it. I live in Brazil, and in my city there isn’t many options for who is raped. I’m thinking of looking some ONG or something like that.
I would like to thank you for this space for us to tell our stories.
Let us all be strong!
— Bruna Santiago, age 24
Thank you so much for sharing this. For the past week I’ve gone to a coffee shop with Wifi, searching through pages and pages of survivor’s stories, desperately trying to find somebody who’s been through something similar to my situation. My boyfriend of 5 years was sexually abusive to me for 3, and it feels like nobody knows what it feels like to be in this type of situation with someone who has you convinced they know what’s best for you. You really do just give up and believe that it’s normal, and it becomes an endless cycle. It took me so long to realise that he was hurting me.
I am so proud of you for being in the situation you are in now, though. Getting the help you sought out is so brave and it’s such a hard thing for so many. I’ve yet to seek out any help, but I feel like I’m slowly but surely getting there. Your story helped give me a little push in the right direction, and for that I thank you. I hope that everything has been going well for you for these last 2 years since your post, and may the rest of your life be just as peaceful.