Raped & Kidnapped By An Ex

I am a pretty happy go lucky kind of person and somewhat naive when I was younger. At the age ofor 19 I started a relationship with a guy who I call psycho Mike now. The relationship was physically & emotionally abusive, I honestly believe I was in shock all through because I had never been hit before in my life. Eventually after almost 2 years, I was able to get out of the relationship safely, or so I thought.
I didn’t know my ex was stalking me until he showed up at my job on my lunch hour and sat next to me.
I was having a birthday party with some friends and he showed up uninvited. I had recently moved to be in another town away from him but I think he may have followed mwith from work and found out where I lived.
When I saw him walk in, of course I was afraid but I pretended to be okay and said hello to him. Right away he started saying that someone had cursed at him and that he need to know who it was and so to avoid my friends being hurt because psycho Mike also had guns, I tried to speak to him and reason with him. He said that we should go talk in his car as the house was too loud. I got in the car and he turned it on but didn’t drive. He tried to ask me to get back together but I told him I didn’t have time for a relationship as school was getting more demanding.
Suddenly he drove off, I was scared but I honestly believe the worst thing that would happen would be getting beaten up. I was so wrong. He took me to a motel, oh he also said if I tried to run he would shoot me. He raped me and sodomized me, made me shower before he dropped me back home. I think I died inside because I just continued with my life. I did report it but I had no evidence so he never got prosecuted, hopefully he’s dead now.
It’s taken lots of years of therapy for me to get back to life again. I have terrible PTSD but I am here and I am alive and I will do my best to have a wonderful life.
I graduated from school, started my own business and even though it’s very difficult for me to have a relationship (falling in love kind). I have wonderful friends who are there for me every second of the day. I have not told anyone in my family, my dad has since passed on but I don’t feel sad that I didn’t tell him although I know that I should have. My mom is still alive and well and I don’t think I will tell her. I just don’t want her heart to be broken because of what that loser did. For now I am in a good place, I am working on overcoming the PTSD and I know I will prevail.

For all the survivors out there, we are heros for getting past the pain and getting on. I know you will all be well, we are here for you!

Thank for this platform and for a place to share, it feels like getting a hug from random wonderful people.

Xxxxx