I am a 20 year old female. This year I realized I was raped. One day I was reading an open letter a survivor wrote to her abuser. As I was reading, it hit me: that’s what happened to me. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew. I had been raped. It happened four years ago, when I was 15. He was my first boyfriend. At first the sex was consensual. But then he started getting rough. He would go for up to two hours. It hurt. I would say no and stop, but he wouldn’t. I couldn’t have stopped him. So I would just take it. For at least four months this continued to happen. I stopped saying no out loud, but I would be screaming it in my head. He’d force me to give him blowjobs even it took a half hour for him to finish. He wouldn’t stop until he was done with sex. I finally got the courage to end it. I saved myself.