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Restoring Innocence

I just wanted to write to all of those who have taken the time to write. I am a victim of rape as well. I am saddened and horrified by the stories here. By the stories of my past. I just wanted to offer up a little joy. I am proud of everyone who writes. I am proud of Linor. I will pray for everyone here, that they seek wisdom, and healing. That they feel their innocence restored by their bravery. Please don’t be ashamed. People who rape are sick, troubled individuals.

I know how difficult it is to function afterwards. Intimacy with my husband is now difficult. I am afraid of being desired as an outlet, as opposed to for mutual communion. I am afraid of enjoying intimacy. I still battle deep depressions, feelings of worthlessness, loneliness. I know that many things have caused this, not simply the rapes or molestation, however, nothing takes away a girl’s joy for life quite like rape. Carrying the ” secret” is like, well, for me it was sort of like finding out there’s no Santa. There aren’t fairies under the toadstools anymore. The wonder and beauty of this world is now different. My heart weeps for all of you. I know how great this pain is. I hope it gets better.

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