Runaway Model

Well I’ve pushed another guy away
I am what most girls call perfection
I’m tall slender beautiful plus I’m a model
Guys drool at me all the time
and I get Inboxed A lot
I live in South Africa
I live with my mom and brother(who’s older than me) last year I had a mental break down.I was full blown depressed and I hated everyone.especially my family.I use to live with my granny when I was younger because my mom didn’t have a house and she was *looking for a job* my uncle who had a Spaza shop asked me to look after it every once in a while I was 8 years old when it started.My uncle was a fish I tell you he drank way too much.but he loved me.so did his friend….Bhabsy (I know it sounds weird but it’s a stupid African nickname don’t feel bad if you don’t understand it)
My uncle’s friend called me and asked me get something for him
So I entered the shop and while I was looking for what he wanted me to get he grabbed me and kissed me Hard.I was shocked.he said I was very beautiful and he’d like to kiss me every single day.I ran out of the shop shocked next thing my uncle calls me and he starts thanking me for being a good girl and respecting his friend so my clue gave me some chips.I was confused and something within me knew that this man was bribing me and and my uncle couldn’t see that because I didn’t tell him the truth of why I was being rewarded.My uncle would leave almost every day and his friend would call me and ask me to suck him or go down on him he’d forcefully finger me and slap me and I’d always get chips.one day he came over to our house where I lived.I was alone he tried to enter but I was tired so I pushed the door.and balanced on it.and cried I swore him and told him to go away.He told my uncle I was being rude and disrespectful so I was beaten by my uncle senselessly.I dreamt of the day my mother returned and saved me from all that was being done to me.that day came and I was saved but I never told anyone what happened to me.Now I am a successful model.Men are always trying to get to know me but I can’t trust anyone and I hate my mom and brother because they were suppose to protect me I was abused for years and nowI can’t keep friends or boyfriends.I reject and look down on each every guy that wants me.I don’t think I’m pretty enough for anyone.Next year I want to move and go and live in Joburg

I tell my mom I want to leave because of my modeling career. Better opportunities in Jozi and I want to study law that side

But deep down I know I’m running away from my nightmares
I just want to start a new life and forget every thing

I can only achieve that
By moving……..

— Survivor, age 19